The Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament Practices The Male Gaze

Dec 18th, 2007 // 28 Comments

greasedandtrussed.jpgThe two pictures above will probably clue you in as to what bracket in our Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament is being featured today. And the covers themselves are pretty much self-explanatory, although I suspect that the Nuge is going to beat the Bangers & Cash cover by a mile thanks to its slam-you-over-the-noggin humorlessness and the fact that so many of our commenters think that the B&C cover should be voted “so best.” But what I want to know is this: Does posting this double-whammy give me license to put up a bunch of videos by Bratmobile and Tiger Trap later this afternoon? It’s either that or a lye shower as far as washing the “ugh” off me goes.

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  1. Jess Harvell

    don’t be a humorless feminist, maura.

  2. bcapirigi

    as much as i despise the nugent cover, i (and one other person, apparently) voted for bangers and cash because i’m really tired of the “it’s okay to demean women because we’re being ironic because, you know, we’re cool and, i don’t know, own the entire peaches catalog so we totally don’t hate women” thing.

  3. Charlie Kerfelds Jetsons Tee

    @jessdolator: Easy there, Brocktoon.

  4. Luke N Atmaguchi

    You’re sexually confused. Neither of these would appeal to male gaze. Female gaze, only the ones who possess the male porn-loving gene.

  5. The Dewd

    If there is something wrong with that Spank Rock cover, I don’t want to be right.

  6. Anonymous

    I don’t like this poll for the worst album cover anymore. In the spirit of fairness, I’ve been going to Amazon to get a better look at the covers so I can make an informed decision when casting my vote. And now Amazon thinks I have really dodgy taste in music.

  7. katie_a_princess

    @liquid444:
    you bring up a very good point.

  8. Anonymous

    There’s something about glazed ass that’s just vomit-inducing, no matter the gender. But it’s a cliched offensive.

    Nugent wins.

  9. Maura Johnston

    @liquid444: How do you think I feel???

    (Also, you can click the thumbnail of each cover within the poll for a larger view.)

  10. Anonymous

    @liquid444: Save it and zoom in with Picture Viewer. Your hard drive won’t judge you.

  11. Charlie Kerfelds Jetsons Tee

    @katie_a_princess: Whoa. Is that Kenny, the mentally-retarded white tiger in your avatar?

  12. MTS

    I voted for the Nuge. Even though the other image is an ironic twist on the 2 Live Crew cover, at least there’s some creative instinct guiding that design. The Nuge OTOH hog-tied a naked woman and threw her on a plate. Not only is it sexist, it’s devoid of inspiration and lacking any sort of reference point.

  13. Al Shipley

    It’s a shame it came down to this pairing, Nuge walking a way with an easy win is a huge loss for the fight against hipster douchebag party rap.

  14. MTS

    @GovernmentNames: Yeah, this one was really tough!

  15. sparkletone

    This, of course, isn’t even really a contest. While the Spank Rock cover isn’t exactly good, it is at least semi-defensible.

    There is no saving grace when it comes to that Nugent cover. It is repugnant on every level, and barring some tragic upset, deserves its eventual victory and then some.

  16. Anonymous

    i vote yes for bratmobile, and throw in some team dresch for good measure.

  17. Tenno

    Since from this distance it looks remarkably like she isn’t just tied and on a platter, but has a green cucumber eel emerging from her mouth, Nuge is hands down winner.

    Banger’s & Cash just resembles some typical rap album with demeaning humor, not some hentai vore fantasy world.

  18. Charlie Kerfelds Jetsons Tee

    @Tenno: “Green cucumber eel emerging from her mouth…”

    Nope. It’s a hand grenade.

    Hence, “Love Grenade.”

  19. Paula

    Spinal Tap’s “Sniff the Glove” was a parody.

    It’s kind of distressing when it turns out to be milder and less offensive than the real thing.

  20. futurehorse

    Between Jess’s supposed “12 days of ’90s emo”(don’t forget Boy’s Life!) and the threat of Bratmobile and Tiger Trap (and hopefully Heavenly too), I’m pretty sure I don’t need to ever read another blog. Idolator FTW!

  21. Tenno

    @Charlie Kerfelds Jetsons Tee: See what draw distance does to us. Stupid huge monitor. I should feel like an idiot, but I SHANT.

  22. Anonymous

    Bass music is a culture by itself. Don’t hate on foreign cultures.

    Anyways, Feminism makes u look fat.

  23. Anonymous

    Anyways, I vote for Bangers And Cash because they should have spent less of their budget for the cover on oil and more money on retouching the pimples off of that girls’ butt. Thanks but if thats what keepin’ it real is all about, then I’d rather be fake like reality tv.

    Clogged pores might be a hazard for the girl on the left, but it looks to have done some good to her friend on the right. At least her legs won’t chafe so badly as her thighs rub together when she walks.

  24. Anonymous

    @liquid444: How could you look at that pic long enough to spot acne?

  25. Reg!

    The Nuge.
    At least at the end of the day Spank can always claim they were parodying a Two Live Crew album cover.

    The Nuge is an entirely new abomination.

  26. Anonymous

    @rhythmchyc: That was the first thing that jumped out at me. The second was that they’ve gotten those legs so greasy that they’re reflecting the lighting equipment. I bet that if you stare close enough, you could probably see who the photographer was.

    Thank god I figured out how to see the covers enlarged here otherwise I’d be very afraid of what Amazon starts recommending to me. I knew I had to quit doing that when I was greeted by Jordin Sparks and something called Microterry Clog Slippers.

  27. SuperUnison

    I conside the Nugent cover a post-ironic statement. He wants to simultaneously eat, rape, and and blow the girl up, or perhaps die together in some sort of cannibalistic, sex for those with special needs suicide pact. Either way, it’s a bunch of really loaded bullshit that is contradictory to the point of being meaningless, hence; an album cover that can’t be topped.

  28. Anonymous

    @liquid444: That’s the thing, I can’t stare at that picture at all. A 2-second glance and I feel like a traumatized concubine from the 19th century.

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