The World Music Awards Prove “Smack That” Sucks In All Languages

Dec 20th, 2007 // 9 Comments

akonnnnnnn.jpgLast night, a few dozen UHF viewers got a little taste of international glamour at the World Music Awards, where America’s pop elite and a bunch of foreigners were airlifted to Monte-Carlo to prove that middle-aged white people awkwardly bumping asses to “Ayo Technology” transcends borders. Or something. The WMAs’ Model U.N. included winners Rihanna, DJ David Guetta, 50 Cent, Mika, and basically whoever else had bothered to turn up, but it turned out we were the real winners, because the show was really celebrating us for “buying albums and legally downloading.” (RIAA propaganda is apparently also universal.) See, we thought the real winners were lovers of exaggerated comedy accents; if you were a fan of frighteningly stern supermodels who sound like they’re hunting moose and squirrel or beefy rugby players who sound like Charo, this was the awards show for you.

  1. Camp Tiger Claw

    Mr. T looks like shit.

  2. Dead Air ummm Dead Air

    @Camp Tiger Claw: Yea really.

    Also, is that a goddman Shy Guy from Super Mario Bros 2 bringing the thump on the bass?

  3. BakerStreetSaxSolo

    Is “Mr T” wearing a dish-towel fashioned like a kilt?

  4. Jess Harvell
  5. Al Shipley

    At first glancing at the thumbnail of the Akon pic I thought it was Fishbone.

    Shaggy would probably go to jail for fuckin’ Patti LaBelle.

  6. Dead Air ummm Dead Air

    @jessdolator: Clearly I’m too much of an ass to ever read.

    Duely noted.

  7. Julio Allison

    Akon, Rhianna, 50 Cent? Who knew — a WHOLE WIDE WORLD out there, apparently comprised entirely of retarded 13-year-old girls.

  8. Anonymous

    @KingHater: Bet you even the 13-year-old girls can spell “Rihanna” right though. Especially when it’s right up there in the post.

  9. Julio Allison

    @lastclearchance:

    Oooohhh…uh…

    …Burn?

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