No. 15: T-Pain Would Like Everyone Reading This To <i>Please</i> Chill

Dec 20th, 2007 // 4 Comments

t-pain.jpgYou’re just way too worked up for Teddy Penderazdoun’s comfort zone right now.

Despite a similar propensity for unworkable relationships with people who work in “nightclubs,” I too once loathed T-Pain. As the year of Poopdeck Pain ground on, though, the guy kept showing up on so many of my favorite singles–the tipping point was probably hearing the sinister, strangulated multi-tracking employed on the remix of Huey’s “Pop, Lock, And Drop” during a late night drive and being honestly unnerved by the macabre things one man can do with Antares software; that, and the Showbiz Pizza Palace re-remix–that eventually I cried (Auto-Tuned) uncle. “Calm The Fuck Down,” where Pain tries a little tenderness towards a lady friend who’s tossing crockery at him, was the first time I really loved our multi-talent auteur as a non-guest star, from the sweetly strummed “acoustic” (like anything this guy does isn’t caked in digital glaze) guitar winding through the goofy (and yeah, quasi-misogynistic) pleas/threats, to the climatic, almost shocking ululations, which sound like he’s trying force a gallstone the wrong way through his urinary tract, up his throat, and right down a talkbox tube. Even if you remain firm in your T-Pain hating and are unable to enjoy this song as a catchy plaint that’s honest about its self-mocking slow jam humor, I do recommend at least sitting through the whole thing for the cherry at the very end.

T-Pain – “Calm The Fuck Down” [YouTube]
Idolator’s 2007 Top 40 List Of Awesomeness

  1. Al Shipley

    Great pick, love this song, don’t know why it wasn’t on his album. Epiphany‘s been seesawing in and out of my top 10 all year, this song would’ve inched it a lot closer to certain inclusion.

  2. boobs

    you better get out my face bitch

  3. extracrispy

    At this point, I can accurately predict which songs are from Jess and which songs are from Maura before scrolling down to see the byline.

  4. Anonymous

    my #1 played song in itunes this year! I didn’t think anyone else liked it.

    there’s something really ‘indie’-sounding about this song that I can’t quite place, it might just be that it’s an r&b song that really doesn’t care about the beat in the slightest.

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