2008’s Presidential Candidates Compile The Worst iTunes Playlist In (Political) History

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When it comes to picking campaign songs, 2008’s prez hopefuls have gotta be pissy that William Jefferson already raided Rumours, picking the “gold standard for campaign anthems” according to “political pundits” and this here Wall Street Journal story. So how do the other candidates’ choices rate, given the fact that they can’t bite Big Bill’s bulletproof soft-rock steez?

Mitt Romney: That awful pop-dance remix of Elvis’ “A Little Less Conversation” Rating: C- Reason: Song that was stupid huge hit in Europe a few years back = patently un-American.

John Edwards: Johnny Cougar’s “My Country.” Rating: D Reason: Inescapable Sunday sports-time Chevy ad = a little too patently American.

Rudy G.: Rascal Flatts’ “Life Is A Highway” Rating: C Reason: Points deducted for snubbing Tom Cochrane in favor of bloaty pop-country dudes who write songs about “children in trouble.”

Mike Huckabee: Lynyrd Skynrd – “Free Bird” Rating: C+ Reason: Yes, yes, good song, but song by group whose members died in fiery plane crash, dedicated to a guy who died in a fiery motorcycle crash = not metaphorically shrewd.

Hillary Clinton: Big Head Todd And The Monsters – “Blue Sky” Rating: C- Reason: We haven’t forgotten your Québécois first choice so quickly, turncoat.

Bill Richardson: Los Lobos’ “Mess We’re In” Rating: C Reason: Richie Rich might as well start playing Napalm Death songs for the hell of it.

Barack Obama: U2’s “The City Of Blinding Lights” Rating: C Reason: A vote for Bono is a vote for allowing MacPhisto to publicly annoy us for at least another four years.

Ron Paul: Some song one of his creepy supporters wrote for him. Rating: F Reason: “F” this dude.

Overall rating: D. Ron Paul wreckin’ the curve for everybody.

Presidental Playlists [WSJ]

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