2008′s Presidential Candidates Compile The Worst iTunes Playlist In (Political) History

Dec 24th, 2007 // 19 Comments

rumourz.jpgWhen it comes to picking campaign songs, 2008′s prez hopefuls have gotta be pissy that William Jefferson already raided Rumours, picking the “gold standard for campaign anthems” according to “political pundits” and this here Wall Street Journal story. So how do the other candidates’ choices rate, given the fact that they can’t bite Big Bill’s bulletproof soft-rock steez?

Mitt Romney: That awful pop-dance remix of Elvis’ “A Little Less Conversation”
Rating: C-
Reason: Song that was stupid huge hit in Europe a few years back = patently un-American.

John Edwards: Johnny Cougar’s “My Country.”
Rating: D
Reason: Inescapable Sunday sports-time Chevy ad = a little too patently American.

Rudy G.: Rascal Flatts’ “Life Is A Highway”
Rating: C
Reason: Points deducted for snubbing Tom Cochrane in favor of bloaty pop-country dudes who write songs about “children in trouble.”

Mike Huckabee: Lynyrd Skynrd – “Free Bird”
Rating: C+
Reason: Yes, yes, good song, but song by group whose members died in fiery plane crash, dedicated to a guy who died in a fiery motorcycle crash = not metaphorically shrewd.

Hillary Clinton: Big Head Todd And The Monsters – “Blue Sky”
Rating: C-
Reason: We haven’t forgotten your Québécois first choice so quickly, turncoat.

Bill Richardson: Los Lobos’ “Mess We’re In”
Rating: C
Reason: Richie Rich might as well start playing Napalm Death songs for the hell of it.

Barack Obama: U2′s “The City Of Blinding Lights”
Rating: C
Reason: A vote for Bono is a vote for allowing MacPhisto to publicly annoy us for at least another four years.

Ron Paul: Some song one of his creepy supporters wrote for him.
Rating: F
Reason: “F” this dude.

Overall rating: D. Ron Paul wreckin’ the curve for everybody.

Presidental Playlists [WSJ]

  1. Rob Murphy

    That awful pop-dance remix of Elvis’ “A Little Less Conversation”…

    Okay, I know you guys think no one is paying attention today, but I gotta object to that.

    That was an awesome remix, and it [and Soderbergh/Clooney] took Elvis back to the top of the charts for the first time in, wha, 30 years???

  2. weaselplasty

    this is quite possibly the most atrocious list i’ve ever seen. i take exception to “city of blinding lights,” but if every other song was put on a single playlist, i think i would become really, really depressed and might do something rash and stupid. like vote with the paultards. ughh. i shudder.

  3. Maura Johnston

    @DHMBIB: yeah, but it works better in 30-second doses. the whole song is a bitch to sit through. also not for nothing, but don’t we already have a president who’s all about ‘a little less conversation, a little more action’? and look where that’s gotten us. i mean, at least romney isn’t trotting out the old ‘but i did stay at a holiday inn express last night’ joke, but come ON.

  4. Rob Murphy

    @weaselplasty: @maura: Maura point well-taken, and Weaselplasty, you’re absolutely right. This list sucks through and through. Our Idolators were very generous with these grades.

  5. Serolf Divad

    These guys are all guilty of either trying too hard or not trying hard enough.

    I mean seriously, Mike Huckabee choosing Lynyrd Skynyrd is like George Bush choosing Jesus as his favorite philosopher. Seriously dude… show a little imagination.

    John Edwards choosing John Cougar Mellencamp: OK, OK, I got it… two Americas, blah, blah, blah…

    The refreshing thing about Hillary’s original Celine Dion choice was that it was probably genuine. The bad thing was that a) it proved once and for all that she hates America, and b) it’s fucking Celine Dion people… I mean really… way to send the message that “allowing me to run the country might be as bad an idea as allowing your girlfriend to choose the radio station.”

  6. weaselplasty

    my suggestions for three republicans campaigns (strictly based on the lyrics):

    * mittens: cornershop, “lessons learned from rocky I to rocky III”

    * 9/11uilliani: kelis, “caught out there”

    * paultard king: cake, “nugget”

  7. weaselplasty

    @Serolf Divad: props for the comment of the day.

    i’m actually surprised none of them are walking out to lee greenwood.

  8. Captain Wrong

    I wanna hear the Ron Paul song. I’m hoping it’s on the level of the “song-poem” songs about Carter and Nixon.

  9. Maura Johnston

    @Serolf Divad: yeah chicks have shitty taste in music, like totally

  10. weaselplasty

    @Captain Wrong: there’s a host of really shitty ron paul tribute songs on youtube. take your pick. they’re all certifiably crappy.

  11. gjdodger

    @Serolf Divad: You’re forgetting, Huck actually plays bass–probably better than he runs for President. He’s probably so sick of people yelling at him, “Play Free Bird” (I’ve been there), that he picked it just to shut them all up.

  12. Kate Richardson

    I hate Huckabee, but I’ll be damned if he doesn’t have the best song on the list. And as you pointed out, it’s totally inappropriate, which kind of makes it all the better.

  13. mhulot

    I don’t know that Los Lobos song, but, seriously, those guys deserve some respect, even from people who aren’t trying to solidify political support among Hispanics. Those dudes got tunes.

  14. Anonymous

    I remeber a magazine article about Los Lobos manymany years ago; one of the magazine’s shticks (whichever mag it was) was to aske the members of bands they profiled their favourite artists.

    I was rather amused to discover that a couple of the members of Los Lobos listed the quintessentially Englis folk-rock band, Fairport Convention.

    And then i realised that, in many ways, Los Lobos were rather like a USAian/Hispanic Fairport…

  15. Jfrankparnell

    Polygamist Giuliani picked Rascal Flatts? Holy crap – he lies about everything.

    And don’t bust on Los Lobos too vigorously: La Pistola y El Corazon kicks some serious butt, and they’re on the record as Beefheart fans (see Latin Playboys), which never sucks.

  16. Anonymous

    Obama…Obama…I hope no one looks at the lyrics too literally:
    The more you see the less you know
    The less you find out as you go
    I knew much more then than I do now

  17. You might be interested in the book written by CEI’s former Journalism Fellow, Tim Carney. It’s titled ‘The Big Ripoff: How Big Business and Big Government Steal Your Money.’ Available on Amazon. It won 1st place in the 2008 Templeton Enterprise Awards!

  18. Mitt Romney was able to tap his bailed-out banker buddies on Wall Street to the tune of 10 million dollars in one day. In fact, Romney raised 10 million dollars in one day a couple of weeks ago from well-heeled party bigwigs and Wall Street insiders, many of whom ponied up the legal maximum of $2,500 per person (or $5,000 per couple).

  19. It will be really appealing to see if Mitt Romney may draw off the Republican nomination this particular year. The only issue that issues me right now is you can find so numerous job hopefuls right at this point.

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