The Jonas Brothers Are Just Asking For It

Jan 15th, 2008 // 10 Comments

jonasbros.jpgBy this point in pop-cultural history, the path to child/adolescent stardom is paved with tragedies and all-too-predictable downfalls. But the massively popular Jonas Brothers are only all too willing to keep laying the bricks. In an interview with Billboard the brothers discuss their forthcoming album, the profundity of their song “S.O.S.,” and foreshadow their own inevitable demise.

The Jonas Brothers’ time on the blockbuster Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus arena tour came to an end last night (Jan. 9) at the Times Union Center in Albany, N.Y., but the sibling pop trio doesn’t plan to slow down anytime soon.

“There’s not a single day when we’re not doing something,” Kevin Jonas told Billboard in November. “Our goal is to never stop and to get it while it’s hot.”

Freeze frame, dissolve to negative image, cue the foreboding music, fade to black. I know Kevin Jonas was home-schooled or raised in a barn or something peculiar like that, but he should know better not to make statements involving the phrase “get it while it’s hot.” The Backstreet Boys got it while it was hot. And then they got permanent emotional damage.

During a November tour stop at Los Angeles’ Staples Center, producer John Fields (Jimmy Eat World, Pink), who produced the Jonas Brothers’ most recent self-titled album, described new songs as “getting a little darker” but “still super pop hits.”

Kevin Jonas agreed, saying, “We’re a bit older. We’ve had some painful moments in the last year. A lot of friends stab you in the back. And girlfriends break up with you, or you break up with a girl — it’s terrible what the road will do to you.”

Jonas added, “We struggled last year, so we write that into our music. You’d never think on a first listen that ‘S.O.S.’ is about somebody walking on broken glass because their heart is hurting so bad.”

“Getting a little darker” means “The Jonas Brothers have experimented with marijuana.” Also, between the three of them they can’t figure out that if life on the road is “terrible,” then they should go back to Jersey for a few years, achieve the ability to grow facial hair, and maybe even get an education? But I guess that’s expecting too much from a group of guys who think their broken glass metaphor requires exegesis.

Jonas Bros. Wrap ‘Hannah’ Tour, Hit The Studio [Billboard]

  1. SuperUnison

    I really hope scientology gets one of them.

  2. Roy Keane

    Every time I hear The Jonas Brothers, I need to cleanse my aural palate with something a little edgier. Like Hannah Montana.

  3. Anonymous

    maybe if people actually listened to what the Jonas Brothers had to say and listened to their music, they would know that they’re great kids. these boys are super-talented and successful. they care about what’s real and the fact that they’re lucky to be as famous as they are. many people just go out and say things, like “‘getting a little darker’ means ‘the Jonas Brothers have experimented with marijuana.’” if you knew them at all, you would know that they’re against drugs, drinking, and sex before marriage. not everyone is into the hollywood-style kind of life, and these boys aren’t. if people actually took time to get to know some more about them, they would know that they’re great kids.

  4. Anonymous

    Every time I see the Jonas Brother on the right, he looks more and more flamboyant, like his eyebrow-waxer is going to get an album liner credit, a la Stevie Nicks. I’m just going to call him as the “Pete Burns” JB now, so as to hog all the glory when he goes Tranny in 2020 for reality television.

  5. Kate Richardson

    @StuntKockSteeev: Dude, check it:

    [gawker.com]

  6. Moimeme

    Psht – clueless, you lot! Look, I know waaaaay too much about the Jonas Brothers.

    Snark snark, but I sorta think the “Hollywood”, massive superstardom thing is a flash in the pan to them, and also in terms of emotional shaking up as they have probably seen worse. They are PENTECOSTAL. Minister’s sons. Seen “Jesus Camp”? Yeah, that. So don’t mess with them. Lightning will totes strike you.

    Anyway, Disney marketing aside, I say they are genuine, not from a boy-band petri dish and they have been working their asses off, for years already.

    I think Kevin’s right…because the mania around them is something that can NEVER last forever, so you don’t expect it to, but you don’t waste it, either.

    P.S. Joe has actually let his eyebrows grow out, he’s over the brow-nerexia already. And I personally think the combination of his flamboyant personality and his fundamentalist background make him one of the more compelling people I’ve ever fixated on on YouTube. But I do worry about him…esp. in the Scientology dept.

    Oh…Screw y’all, or some other Britneyism. Why am I botherin’?

  7. Anonymous

    I think this article is redculous to be honest. The Jonas Brothers are three small town boys who are somewhat new to Hollywood, we don’t need to go on critiziing every word that comes out of thier mouths. Thier music comes form the heart and as a teen, that means somthing. The devotion these boys have to thier music fans, and God is so incredibly rare, and amazing. These boys have so much potential, so lets not go one saying they’ve expirmented with drugs, and start supporting thier music.

  8. Anonymous

    @kaate: My agony at being six days late to the party is canceled out by the emotional rush I feel knowing that there will be plenty of snarky people to clink champagne glasses with at my Big Brother 36 season finale party. Maybe Lohan will be doing scat porn by then.

  9. Reidicus

    @ilovejoejonas09: Holy hell, didn’t these comments used to be somewhat moderated? What’s next, a Claymate bombardment?

  10. Anonymous

    Hehe, this article made me giggle a bit. Probably because there’s very little research behind it? Yeah, has to be that.

    Listen, those boys have good heads on their shoulders. They have a strong family base, and religion is a big part of their lives. Anyone who says they’ve tried drugs or are heading towards disaster make themselves look like total dipsticks. As does saying you wish they would die and that they suck. Close-minded hate never got anyone anywhere.

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