The Jonas Brothers Are Just Asking For It

kater | January 15, 2008 2:30 am
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By this point in pop-cultural history, the path to child/adolescent stardom is paved with tragedies and all-too-predictable downfalls. But the massively popular Jonas Brothers are only all too willing to keep laying the bricks. In an interview with Billboard the brothers discuss their forthcoming album, the profundity of their song “S.O.S.,” and foreshadow their own inevitable demise.

The Jonas Brothers’ time on the blockbuster Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus arena tour came to an end last night (Jan. 9) at the Times Union Center in Albany, N.Y., but the sibling pop trio doesn’t plan to slow down anytime soon.

“There’s not a single day when we’re not doing something,” Kevin Jonas told Billboard in November. “Our goal is to never stop and to get it while it’s hot.”

Freeze frame, dissolve to negative image, cue the foreboding music, fade to black. I know Kevin Jonas was home-schooled or raised in a barn or something peculiar like that, but he should know better not to make statements involving the phrase “get it while it’s hot.” The Backstreet Boys got it while it was hot. And then they got permanent emotional damage.

During a November tour stop at Los Angeles’ Staples Center, producer John Fields (Jimmy Eat World, Pink), who produced the Jonas Brothers’ most recent self-titled album, described new songs as “getting a little darker” but “still super pop hits.”

Kevin Jonas agreed, saying, “We’re a bit older. We’ve had some painful moments in the last year. A lot of friends stab you in the back. And girlfriends break up with you, or you break up with a girl — it’s terrible what the road will do to you.”

Jonas added, “We struggled last year, so we write that into our music. You’d never think on a first listen that ‘S.O.S.’ is about somebody walking on broken glass because their heart is hurting so bad.”

“Getting a little darker” means “The Jonas Brothers have experimented with marijuana.” Also, between the three of them they can’t figure out that if life on the road is “terrible,” then they should go back to Jersey for a few years, achieve the ability to grow facial hair, and maybe even get an education? But I guess that’s expecting too much from a group of guys who think their broken glass metaphor requires exegesis.

Jonas Bros. Wrap ‘Hannah’ Tour, Hit The Studio [Billboard]