Do The Mars Volta Have Naked Pictures Of Doug Morris?

Decibel gives Universal a good bloglashing over the company’s ridonkulously out-of-touch promo push for the upcoming album by neo-progsters the Mars Volta, from the silly Zork-esque online adventure game to the “special edition” USB stick, a format already regarded by many as the new “enhanced CD,” ‘cept even more superfluous thanks to the device you’re reading this on. But the biggest question, Decibel sez, is why Universal is flushing all this promotional fundage down a toilet shaped like Neil Peart in such cash-strapped times for the majors.

Using The Mars Volta as a guinea pig for a new media experiment is potentially disastrous, too…seriously, why is UMI giving these guys such a long leash to confuse and obfuscate with their proven track record of being unable to release anything but middling concept records? Give me one more perfect song like “The Widow” and my faith will be restored. You probably thought it couldn’t get any worse after Amputechture, right? Oh my.

Maybe I’m just a sucker for crazy drum rolls and falsetto ululations, but I don’t find The Bedlam In Goliath as objectionable as the Decibel braintrust does. (In fact, I think it’s the MV’s best, least wankiest offering since De-Loused.) And I also do not share their worry that Universal’s investment will be necessarily be unrecoupable. Unlike some of their labelmates, the Mars Volta’s pop profile may still have them playing theaters, but they’re selling out enough of those medium-sized venues that I was pwned myself when I tried to see them in Philly earlier this week. Relying on a cult act with committed fanbase in the tens or hundreds of thousands (hell, I don’t even like leaving the house for cigarettes this time of year) is actually pretty sound strategy for a label of any size these days, even if said label still can’t resist trying to fleece that fanbase with valueless add-ons. If Bedlam does tank, however, the quickest fix is clear: A T-Pain remix. The obviousness of which is perhaps the only explanation for why UMG overlooked it in the first place.

You Got Pwned [Deciblog]