When it comes to a genre as broad as hip-hop, cutting through the weak beats is a full-time job. In each installment of Mean Muggin’, Ethan Padgett spreads some shine to the cats who deserve it and hates on those who don’t, whether they’re underground or overground, superstar or indie darling. This time out he’s enlisted the help of some of his favorite rappers, producers, and bloggers to call out some of the wackest rap singles currently in heavy (or not so heavy) rotation:
“Alright, fuck it, back to the hating” – Yukmouth
Not gonna waste my day hunting for wack music–your boy only messes with classics. So when it was time for last month’s love to get gone like Feb. 15, I knew I had to hit up some of the most opinionated dudes in the game for the lowdown on the current state of the bullshit. These singles are the lowest of the low, and get the gas face from some of the best and brightest, certified haters who know everything about making (and listening to) dope rap music.
Big Ken is producer and MC for 334 M.O.B.B., along with his lil’ brother Sawed Off, a pair of the dopest, least heralded in the South right now, my boys since I first came to Georgia, always cooking up new styles when not working on mastering the old ones, flamboastin’ dirty raps and political shit over rugged-ass beats. Reading his interviews, I feel like Ken is the next David Banner for real, a lot of raw and uncut to speak on:
“You know Deelishus, from Flavor of Love…she dropped a song and I wasnt diggin’ it. It was called “Rump Shaker.” I was diggin’ the video! If you look good, be on a poster, don’t get in the studio…she should step away from the mic and step into a nigga’s bedroom.”
I cosign all that besides wanting to invite Dee’s Mike Tyson butterface into my bedroom. Now if Esther Baxter drops a video let me know and the joint’ll be on replay even if Freeky Zeeky and dude from Gym Class Heroes do the raps.
Andrew Noz is a writer, blogger & amateur Rap-A-Lot historian forCocaine Blunts and XXL’s Posse On Blogway. (Full disclosure: he was also my former editor on the unfairly-deaded Scratch magazine) His most hated-on? “Put me down for that Flo Rida & T-Pain song.”
“Low” is still No. 1 on Billboard, in full-clip radio rotation, and it’s straight garbage. I actually dug a good 2/3 of the joints T-Pain dropped a guest verse on last year, especially “Shawty” with Plies and that piano jam with Kells, but when I caught the video for this last month it damn near ruined my day off. It’s time for the dreadlocked Teletubbie to unplug the robot voice for a lil’ bit. As for Flo Rida: does anybody wanna hear “Shorty was hot like a TOASTER/ I had to FOLD HER/ Like a pornography POST-ER” coming out of a doof with a fake tatted-up back and big ol’ peanut head? Fuck the county of Dade for shitting this on my radio.
Atlanta superproducer Dirty Doc Jam‘s name rings bells for most folks because of Crime Mob’s superfly “Circles.” but he’s been putting in underground work for years, with a whole mess of Southern soul beats forthcoming in ’08, one of the most creative and talented guys behind the boards in Atlanta today. His beef is with an overplayed local joint from a new-school trap star:
“I’m hating on ‘Bottle Poppin’ by Yung Joc and Gorilla Zoe. Why waste any amount of money shooting a video for this bullshit song? When you release a garbage first single like ‘Coffee Shop’ and then follow it up with an even more garbage second single, it’s no wonder Joc flopped. Instead of paying for quality production from Doc Jam they went and got a bullshit beat from Don P that sounds just like gotdam ‘Sweet Dreams’? This was probably my least favorite song of ’07.”
With all respect to Doc Jam and zero respect to Joc, I can’t deny “Bottle Poppin.” “Coffee Shop” was trash, but while the slow-headed flow and lyrics on this jam are nothing special, it’s still elbows to the ceiling for that Gorilla Zoe hook, not even in the bottom 30 or 40 wackest singles to come from my city last year. If nothing else, it definitely kills that cut where Joc keeps saying he’s the seventh letter of the alphabet.
Citty (aka Da Cookieman) started out with snap music dynamos the Alliance–best known for the Fabo-blessed hit “Tatted Up”–but after a recent signing, he now rolls with Slip-N-Slide Records. Citty named fellow Atlantan Soulja Boy’s “Yahh” as his most-hated on. “They copied us,” he says.
Personal ATL beef aside, this song itself is lean, catchy ringtone rap, and the goofy video where Soulja runs around hollering “YAHH!!!” is undeniable, the clip’s little “avoid the Noid” hater-mascot most relevant to today’s discussion. And if you got clowned, dust off your shoulders and get your weight up, because long as there’s weak boom-bap, lazy snap, cash-in trap rap, boring verses, new Neptunes beats, and post-retirement Jigga albums, I’ll stay hating forever.