The Top Four Sentences From Yesterday’s Vampire Weekend Profile That Made Me Vow To Never Read A Story About Them Again

Maura | January 28, 2008 - 9:30 am

As previously reported, both Jess and I think that the debut album by the buzzed-to-death New York band Vampire Weekend is perfectly fine. (Possibly of note: Every time I listen to their album, I experience an Orange Juice craving about six tracks in.) But coverage of the band–from its Rolling Stone accolades to all those blog posts–has been absolutely nauseating, to the point where it actually makes me kind of hate the idea of words being used to described music, or at least musicians. I hit some sort of breaking point yesterday, thanks to the “A Night Out With” profile of the band in the New York Times Sunday Styles. In its 489 words, it manages to hit on everything that drives me bonkers about the Columbia-bred band’s preppy-smarmy signifiers, and it spends more time talking about the band’s hype express than about the music that started that train a-rolling. After the jump, the four sentences that almost had me throwing my paper across the room!

4. Describing its sound as “Upper West Side Soweto”… OK, OK, I know that this is old. But any readers out there who thought that the above construction was courtesy of some hacky rock critic on a Robitussin bender, take note: They describe themselves this way. At least let Robert Christgau do the christening for you, dudes!

3. Mr. Koenig, who recently quit his day job as an English teacher, went on to explain that the place was formerly known as the Mill Luncheonette. “That’s why they call it the Mill Korean,” Mr. Batmanglij said. Such intellectual showmanship shouldn’t be surprising to anyone familiar with Vampire Weekend — and is anyone not these days? Sigh. Sigh. But wait, there’s more:

2. Mr. Koenig: “Did you know that New Jersey is the capital of the flavor industry?” Translation: Did you know that I finally finished Fast Food Nation this week?

1. Hardly keeping vampire hours, Mr. Koenig, the only member who still lives uptown, bade farewell to his Brooklyn-bound mates around 10 p.m. But not before reminding them of their plans for the following day: a field trip to Lacoste. But don’t get too used to seeing them in your store, Lacosties–once those Best New Music bucks start rolling in, they’re going to be all-Polo, all the time!

Know-It-Alls on a Riff [NYT]
Vampire Weekend – A-Punk [YouTube]