The Worst Album Cover Of The Year Race Tells It To Taylor Dayne’s Airbrush

Jan 30th, 2008 // 23 Comments

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We know the queen of late-’80s acid-washed dance-pop is now 45 years old, and so it’s kinda understandable why her image-conscious record label might have wanted to scrub the visible signs of aging from the cover portrait for her forthcoming album Satisfied to compete in a world where even twentysomething starlets get digitally nipped and tucked before hitting the stands. But the only resemblance this new, shiny, smooth, and disturbingly muppet-esque Taylor bears to the (equally scary if we’re being honest) lady that once vamped it up in the “Tell It To My Heart” video–which Maura requested we post “for the children…so they know it wasn’t always this way”–is the teased lion’s mane and the doorknockers, which mostly prove there’s no Photoshop tool to remove “Long Island-ness” just yet.

Taylor Dayne – “Tell It To My Heart” [YouTube]

  1. SomeSound-MostlyFury

    Her necklace looks like you could buy it for $0.12 a foot at Home Depot. Oh, and she’s an alien.

  2. Dead Air ummm Dead Air

    Post-Op Tranny Disco Punk?

  3. Camp Tiger Claw

    I think that’s actually Ron Dayne.

  4. Dead Air ummm Dead Air

    @Camp Tiger Claw: Ron Dayne is much more attractive.

  5. mike a

    Pete Burns is looking a lot better these days.

  6. SomeSound-MostlyFury

    @Camp Tiger Claw: You might be right. Both of them look like they would eat you at the drop of a hat.

  7. Anonymous

    @mike a:

    LOL.

    totally muppet- she is kinda rocking the Kira “Dark Crystal” Gelfling look:
    [www.mtv.com]

  8. Lucas Jensen

    @NDFSEA: Why does everything always come back to the Gelflings?

  9. janine

    I thought she was going for a “Black Hole Sun” thing.

  10. Anonymous

    Her lips don’t lie. It must be the only thing they didn’t change.

  11. dog door

    YIKES WHAT THE HELL IS THAT GET IT AWAY FROM ME

  12. Anonymous

    @Lucas Jensen:

    ’tis bizarre innit. tee hee.

    @janine:

    that too.

    I also forgot how much she kinda looks like Dee Snyder’s coked out, club hopping sister in the “Tell it…” video. Oh, wait…

    All joking aside, I actually loved this song. I think I still might have the cassingle -somewhere.

    :)

  13. Chris Molanphy

    FTW. Nuge is gonna have to come back hard to top this shit. Ewwwwwwwww.

  14. The Notorious T

    I’m in love.

  15. Tenno

    Definately a gelfling like they said above, she needs our help to complete the Dark Crystal and save the WORLD!

  16. bcapirigi

    @NDFSEA: I denied it for years and years, mostly because I hate that I’ll Always Love You song so much, but Tell It To My Heart is probably one of the best pop hits of that era.

  17. Anonymous

    She’s back, and she’s pregnant!!!

    [www.theinsideronline.com]

  18. Garrison Dean

    Airbrush?! Is that what plastic surgeons are using nowadays?

  19. Cos

    Jessica Biel?

  20. encyclopediablack

    Taylor Dayne walks into a bar. The bartender says “Why the long face?”

  21. ghostyhead

    I can feel my body rock…

    Actually, it’s really more of a shudder.

  22. Marc

    anyone with any photo knowledge would know this photo was taken with a fish eye lens…. its distoreted purposely.

  23. It makes me really sad that people feel the need to be airbrushed. I know that it was mainly probably for business purposes and all, so I get that, but I wish it wasn’t this way. People should be proud to be who they are. It’s sad.

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