Hang Up The Phone: A Brief List Of Ill-Advised Ringtones

By: Maura / January 31, 2008


I haven’t yet had the pleasure of hearing Hinder’s “Lips Of An Angel” ringing out of a cell phone in my immediate vicinity, but I’m on alert for that possibility now thanks to the song being “the RIAA’s first and only triple platinum Mastertone in rock music history,” according to a press release. Perhaps there are a lot of people out there for whom the song’s lyrics–“Well, my girl’s in the next room / Sometimes I wish she was you / I guess we never really moved on”–match perfectly to their sentiments about their mothers and various bill collectors. Or maybe they just aren’t worried about their significant others being around when their phone rings? Anyway, after the jump, a few other lyrics from popular songs of now that should probably not be considered for mastertone consideration, but probably will anyway because who really pays attention to the words in music unless they’ve got a Don’t Forget The Lyrics! contestant slot in their sights?

Aly & AJ, “Potential Breakup Song”
Lyric: “Wise up now or pay the cost / Soon you will know, oh!”
Reason to put your phone on permanent vibrate: You’ve told your creditors “the check’s in the mail” 18 times now, but they just keep calling.

Sean Kingston, “Beautiful Girls”
Lyric: “You’re way too beautiful girl / That’s why it’ll never work / You’ll have me suicidal, suicidal”
Reason to put your phone on permanent vibrate: Kinda self-explanatory, no?

Janet Jackson, “Feedback”
Lyric: “My swagger’s serious / I’m heavy like a first-day period”
Reason to put your phone on permanent vibrate: Sympathy cramps.

Buckcherry, “Crazy Bitch”
Lyric: “Get the video, fuck you so good / Get the video, fuck you so good / Crazy Bitch / Crazy Bitch / Crazy… Bitch”
Reason to put your phone on permanent vibrate: You don’t want to be mistaken for Paul Janka.

Afroman, “Because I Got High”
Lyric: Pick one.
Reason to put your phone on permanent vibrate: Possibility of an incoming call while you’re at a networking event while you’re meeting employers who are way strict about drug testing.

Hinder, The Master Of Ringtones [LiveDaily]