Which Singer Needs A Non-Smoking, Smokin’ Hot Personal Assistant-Slash-Ghostwriter?

Last night a want ad for a personal assistant to a “busy, high profile, very down to earth Musician/Actor in the Entertainment Industry” who also happens to be a “HIGH NET WORTH INDIVIDUAL” popped up on Craigslist. Among the job requirements, which could bring you up to $1000/week: no smoking; picking outfits for the artist, with the ability to do so being judged by photos of applicants “dressed in three different wardrobe looks that express ‘Your Personal Sense of Style'”; the occasional tune-up for the artist’s “Automobile(s)”; and the willingness to “be a willing ear to listen to Artist new creative developments while creating new music projects.” “Creating new music projects”? That sounds like “write some songs and maybe I’ll sing them while trying to pass them off as my own” to me, but that may be just residual resentment from some ex-bosses who were always trying to pass my ideas off as theirs.

Other items of note from the ad:

• You’ll also be cooking and shopping for the mystery artist.

• And driving.

• And helping with auditions.

• I mentioned the car tune-up thing already, right? OK.

• And you may need to be a mom! “You should naturally possess a nurturing, compassionate and very personable disposition. Be comfortable as a caregiver with some natural instincts. Nothing over-bearing, just the basics.” Presumably if you’re “over-bearing,” you get a talking-to–or some employer-mandated couples’ therapy? The ad does say that the perks are “amazing,” and really, what could be more amazing than being hauled into a shrink’s office for not having enough “natural instincts” for nurturing some overscheduled celebrity’s ego?

Celebrity Personal Assistant (Revised as of 2/9/08) [Craigslist via Gawker]