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Gerard Rechnitzer, the man suing Sean Combs for allegedly popping him in the kisser on Oscar night last year, was apparently the victim of nothing more than his own equilibrium issues. “[He] continued moving toward me and, without warning, lunged at me. Instinctively, I outstretched one of my hands, which hand was not closed-fisted, to shield myself,” Diddy wrote in a court document last week. “Any contact between Mr.Rechnitzer and myself was caused by his forward motion against my stationary open hand.” Something to keep in mind if you’re ever hanging out with a slap-happy rap mogul in the near future: if you wind up going home smacked by Diddy, it was your own damn fault. [Nah Right]

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