Avril, Keep Your Damn Clothes Away From My Daughter
An open letter to Avril Lavigne and the executives of the Kohl’s Corporation:
My daughter was born in December, and like any parent, I’m concerned about what sort of woman my little girl will become. It’s a tricky world to navigate as a parent, between frequent airings of The Hills on MTV and the fact that I’m married to a woman, who despite being generally wonderful, doesn’t recognize the genius of Shaun Ryder. I just have to say, you people aren’t helping with your recently announced new line of clothing blending “an authentic rock ‘n’ roll attitude with a feminine edge” , so if you wouldn’t mind, could you keep your damn clothes away from my daughter? If she ends up looking for “rock ‘n’ roll attitude”, I’d hope she develops it herself, instead of from a photocopy of a poorly duplicated original.
Thanks for your help!