“American Idol” Says “Hello, Goodbye” To David Hernandez

Mar 13th, 2008 // 12 Comments

david-hernandez-01-2008-03-11.jpgVeteran Idol watchers love the drama of the “shocking elimination,” but does David H.’s exit qualify as “shocking”? A minor shock, at least: there were only maybe four memorable-in-the-good-way performances on Tuesday night (Chikezie, Carly, David C., Brooke), so any of the remaining eight could have been in trouble. Most writers — this one included — thought that Kristy Lee was clearly a goner after the hatchet job she put on “Eight Days A Week”; I had David H. in 8th place, safe for the week but not long for the show. I also mocked DialIdol for being an outdated predictor that misses key demographics, but lookie here:

7) Kristy Lee
11) David H.
12) Syesha

Maybe people who still have land lines know something about singing that I don’t?

* “Idol Kermlinologists” may be interested in studying more thoroughly the order in which the 12 finalists were announced to be safe (or out, in the case of poor Danny H.):

1) Carly Smithson
2) Michael Johns
3) Jason Castro
4) Chikezie
5) Amanda Overmyer
6) David Cook
7) David Archuleta
8) Brooke Adams
9) Ramiele Malubay

10) Syesha Mercado
11) Kristy Lee Cook

12) David Hernandez

Does that look like a reasonable voting order? I don’t quite think so, although I’m intrigued by both the fact that Carly was the first to be told she was safe, and David A. was forced to wait until the last group of four to find out he was safe. Are TPTB trying to tell us something? Are they trying to tell the Idols something?

* Am I the only one who noticed what a shrinking violet Michael Johns was in the show-opening group number? He completely stopped singing when he was overpowered by both Carly Smithson and Kristy Lee Freakin’ Cook, and only stepped in when he could match mousey Brooke Adams. Hey, Michael, pick on someone your own size!

* Wednesday night saw two former first- and second-place finishers return to Idol. Season 2 winner Ruben Studdard returned in voice-only form singing this season’s “outta here” song, “Celebrate Me Home.” It was passable, and it’ll probably grow on me. But I’m already glad it’s not “Bad Day” or “Home.”

Meanwhile, Season 5 runner-up Katharine McPhee returned to perform, accompanied by super-producer David Foster on piano. Although Kat sadly did not perform Maura-favorite, “Open Toes”, the duo’s understated rendition of George Harrison’s “Something” — where was George on Tuesday? — was lovely and reminded me how much I like Kat’s AC style. Kat and David are “working together” on some unspecified “project” which may or may not be an “album,” but it would be nice to hear more new music from her soon.

* Idol unveiled another feature new to this season on Wednesday night, as Ryan took viewer phone calls live on the air in one segment. This was ridiculously pointless, which only means that it will expand to fill more time in future elmination shows to lengthen the tease about who’s going home.

* I love Cake as much as anyone reading this, I’m sure, but something seemed, I dunno, off about the Idols perform “Going The Distance” in the Ford commercial. Was I just too confused by the non-ironic use of ironic detachment to sell cars — “hey, listen, they’re singing ‘he’s going the distance, he’s going for speed’, and they’re riding in cars!” — or was I secretly wishing that if they had to use something Cake-related track to sell cars, it would be the cover of “I Will Survive”?

Wait, cars! Pretty, shiny cars!

* A results show does not need to be an hour long, of course, and the network execs used the time to force product on a captive audience. One of my least favorite Idol-related traditions returned on Wednesday night, as Jim Carrey “dropped by” to plug his new animated film, Horton Hears A Who, which is — zomg! — a Fox Studios picture. Okay, that’s nice. There’s Jim Carrey in the audience, dressed as an elephant, making elephant shit jokes. Ha ha. Let’s get back to the Idols. Wait, why the fuck is Jim Carrey sitting in the Idol seats now. Why do we have to be subjected to this stupid shit again?

[Photo: Rickey.org]

idolator

  1. Rob Murphy

    I can’t believe I missed the obvious “now he can go back to being a day stripper, ha ha!” joke.

    D’oh!

  2. Rob Murphy

    Also, sometimes I’m a really bad speler.

  3. almostred

    The adorable barefoot nanny from AI is Brooke White. Brooke Adams was my first on-screen boob, c. “Dead Zone” in 1983. Pretty sure it was a boob-double, though. Still, please make a note of it.

  4. Rob Murphy

    @almostred: D’oh! So sorry for this flub.

    The name “Adams” must be tatooed on my brain or something, as I made the same mistake a few weeks ago when I called Amy Davis “Amy Adams”.

  5. almostred

    I do the same thing with Jim Carrey, Ron Carey, Harry Caray, John Kerry, and “Carry On Wayward Son.” No need to apologize. I’m spending my morning reading music blogs about AI. I’m lucky I can still breathe through my nose.

  6. Chris Molanphy

    The Cake song was indeed a lousy choice. I love the song, but it’s essentially rapped, not sung, and it sounded especially dumb coming out of 12 voices.

  7. Anonymous

    Its Brooke White, Not adams!

  8. RobUsdin

    From the Cake website:

    “CAKE feels completely violated by Ford and American Idol’s decision to use our song in a bizarre and un-funny Ford car commercial without our permission.”

    –*Rob

  9. Halfwit

    @RobUsdin: I would feel more supportive of their indignation if

    A) They didn’t link directly to it (though in their defense, not a “Fox-approved,” high quality rip), and

    B) If they didn’t have obnoxious embedded audio on their homepage.

  10. Charles A. Hohman

    I actually didn’t think Kristy Lee’s performance was nearly as bad as the judges and the media contend. Chalk it up to a general prejudice against old-fashioned rodeo music. It was a brave and successful risk, since KL Cook had largely been indistinguishable from the other bland blondes (including the still wretched Brooke White) as the Top 24 dwindled. Next week, she’ll do a safe, boring, unoriginal performance and get sent home.

    Which I wouldn’t be too sad about, since I’m (foolishly) hoping for a Ramiele-Chikezie Final Two (a slap in the face to this year’s overwhelming whiteness, and a Top 24 straight out of an Abercrombie and Fitch catalog). Ramiele is one Jordin-Sparks-singing-I-Who-Have-Nothing moment away from being a major contender, if she could get past her shy, skittish stage presence.

  11. jasonelias

    David Hernandez ran out of road. Bland looks, bland voice, stripper past, clearly no major fan base.

  12. RobUsdin

    @Halfwit:

    A – They needed to show what total crap was done to their song.

    B – Picky BS, not related to the subject at hand in any way.

    –*Rob

Leave A Comment