“American Idol” Prepares To Make Us All Feel Old

Mar 24th, 2008 // 9 Comments

idoltop10.jpgAmerican Idol is finally ditching the Beatles-themed shows, and this week’s show will have each aspiring singer tackling tunes from their birth years–a span that runs from 1978 (Michael Johns) to 1990 (David Archuleta) that takes a long route through the mid-’80s. After the jump, a rundown of each Idol finalist’s birthday, and our picks for the songs that they should–and shouldn’t–give their patented spin to come tomorrow night.

David Archuleta
Born: Dec. 28, 1990
Likely choice: “Vision Of Love,” Mariah Carey.
Too awesome for Idol choice: “Nothing Compares 2 U,” Sinead O’Connor.
Shouldn’t sing: “Up All Night,” Slaughter.

Jason Castro
Born: March 25, 1987
Likely choice: “Sweet Child O’Mine,” Guns N’ Roses.
Too awesome for Idol choice: “I Could Never Take The Place Of Your Man,” Prince.
Shouldn’t sing: “Caught In A Mosh,” Anthrax.

Born: Sept. 11, 1985
Likely choice: “I Want To Know What Love Is,” Foreigner.
Too awesome for Idol choice: “She Sells Sanctuary,” The Cult.
Shouldn’t sing: “Take On Me,” a-ha.

David Cook
Born: Dec. 20, 1982
Likely choice: “Black Coffee In Bed,” Squeeze.
Too awesome for Idol choice: “Steppin’ Out,” Joe Jackson. (Although it’s probably better for everyone that he leave this track alone.)
Shouldn’t sing: “I Love Rock And Roll,” Joan Jett.

Kristy Lee Cook
Born: Jan. 14, 1984
Likely choice: “Head Over Heels,” The Go-Gos.
Too awesome for Idol choice: “Hot For Teacher,” Van Halen.
Shouldn’t sing: Ah, with Kristy it’s so hard to pick just one, don’t you think?

Michael Johns
Born: Oct. 20, 1978
Likely choice: “Wheel In The Sky,” Journey.
Too awesome for Idol choice: “You’re The One That I Want,” with Johns handling both Danny and Sandy’s parts.
Shouldn’t sing: “Miss You,” The Rolling Stones.

Ramiele Malubay
Born: Sept. 6, 1987
Likely choice: “Heaven Is A Place On Earth,” Belinda Carlisle.
Too awesome for Idol choice: “Come Go With Me,” Expose.
Shouldn’t sing: “Wishing Well,” Terrence Trent D’Arby.

Syesha Mercado
Born: Jan. 2, 1987
Likely choice: “Where Do Broken Hearts Go,” Whitney Houston.
Too awesome for Idol choice: “Causing A Commotion,” Madonna.
Shouldn’t sing: “I Wanna Dance With Somebody Who Loves Me,” Whitney Houston. (We all know what happens when someone picks that song.)

Carly Smithson
Born: Sept. 12, 1983
Likely choice: “Flashdance … What A Feeling,” Irene Cara.
Too awesome for Idol choice: “Burning Down The House,” Talking Heads.
Shouldn’t sing: “Cuts Like A Knife,” Bryan Adams.

Brooke White
Born: June 2, 1983
Likely choice: “Islands In The Stream,” Kenny Rogers.
Too awesome for Idol choice: “Sharp Dressed Man,” ZZ Top.
Shouldn’t sing: “Shout At The Devil,” Motley Crue.

  1. Rob Murphy

    Michael Johns
    . . .
    Likely choice: “Wheel In The Sky,” Journey.

    “Ya know, Dawg, I used to be in Journey, and you know how much I love Journey. Did I mention I used to be in Journey???”

  2. Maura Johnston

    @Rob Murphy: hey, at least he’ll know that michael’s song wasn’t by inxs.

  3. Rob Murphy

    A few other suggestions…

    1990: Cherry Pie; Do The Bartman; Friends In Low Places; The Dance; U Can’t Touch This
    1987: Heaven Is A Place On Earth; Push It; Round And Round
    1985: Sugar Walls; The Search Is Over; The Goonies ‘R’ Good Enough; Theme From “Miami Vice”
    1984: All Cried Out; To All The Girls I’ve Loved Before; I Wanna Rock; You Spin Me Round (Like A Record)
    1983: Bark At The Moon; Lick It Up; Jeopardy; Walking On Sunshine; White Wedding
    1982: 867-5309; Eye Of The Tiger; Physical
    1978: Boogie Oogie Oogie; Come Sail Away; Copacabana; Take A Chance On Me

    Poor Michael Johns — whatever song he picks from 1978 is going to make him look — and sound — very old…

  4. jasonelias

    Michael Johns looks like he’s old enough to be David Archuleta’s dad.

  5. angshu

    I reserve the right to be utterly disillusioned when nobody picks anything off the XTC catalogue.

  6. momo

    If someone sings Centipede by Jackson Obscura, I’ll actually watch. Otherwise, I’ll continue my current course.

  7. angshu

    And I suppose none of these lads and lasses remember Talk Talk, hm?

    Hell, I’d even be happy with some Pet Shop Boys!

    I’m easily pleased, me.

  8. brasstax

    I don’t know, Maura. I’m playing out how Chikezie could possibly sound doing “Take on Me” in my head right now, and it’s not at all bad.

  9. Chris Molanphy

    @brasstax: Just picture the harmonica break!

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