K-Mart: Your Source For $254.99 Rap CDs With “Tougher-Than-Leather Flows That Holler Down Faggots”
While Target rightfully gets the business of trust-fundless hipsters, Isaac Mizrahi-lovers, and anyone with a sound eye for a bargain, K-Mart is usually seen as an afterthought. No longer. According to the K-Mart website, right now, on-sale for $254.99, one can pick up a copy of Philadelphia underground rappers Jedi Mind Tricks’ “Legacy of Blood.” Granted, this seems a tad excessive, but it’s actually an amazing bargain considering the record is marked down from its original price of $849.99. For those unfamiliar with the gruff, science-fiction laced work of the Babygrande recording artists, K-Mart is also helpful enough to provide a description.
“With violent imagery so rampant in the past decade of hip-hop, the fact that Jedi Mind Tricks’ third album manages a cover shot that actually succeeds in shocking is either impressive or disturbing, depending on your disposition. Same goes for Vinnie Paz’s tougher-than-leather flow that hollers down faggots and paints pictures of ultra-violence in a way that would make -A Clockwork Orange seem almost friendly by comparison.”
Ever wise to the vagaries of the recording industry, an ever-vigilant K-Mart is attuned to the buying needs of every intensively homophobic, ultraviolent millionaire in America. Somewhere, Dick Cheney has added a little something special to his shopping cart.
