Slash Finally Realizes Weiland Is Velvet Revolver’s Weakest Link

slashfriction.jpgSlash promises that Velvet Revolver will record a third album, with or (please please please) without Weiland. “We don’t know how or when but the core four guys will continue,” he was quoted as saying. It’s a heartwarming response to the bitchfits his estranged compatriot has been issuing to the world, as there’s no reason The Band Formerly Known As Guns N’ Roses should back a grating, obnoxious hack who can’t get his pipes around anything on Appetite For Destruction except “It’s So Easy,” making him more of a rock dodo than a rock dinosaur. But now that The Big Empty might be out of the picture, which grating, obnoxious hack (with more vocal range) should replace him?

1. Axl Rose
Just saying.

2. Any pop-metal singer that can still shriek

Sebastian Bach. Tom Kiefer. Taime Downe. Steve Whiteman. Ian Astbury. Vince Neil. Ronnie James Dio. Jack Russell. Melissa Etheridge. Just not that dude from Tesla. Did you see that Station Family Fund benefit? That voice is gone. Ouch. I’m talking “DuckTales, ooh-ooh.”

3. Rod Stewart

Velvet Revolver needs somebody who can sing. Rod Stewart needs someone who can get him off the “Great Clive Davis Songbook” train and back on a Faces trip. I used to say Rod The Mod should lead Audioslave (DID I BLOW YOUR MIND? GOOD.), but it looks like that band has got its Rage on again, so seize the opportunity to work with a legend, Slash. Duff. Matt. The guy with the skullcap.

4. Courtney Love

Think of the publicity!

5. Kelly Clarkson

Failing this, they could always call up Amanda Overmeyer. Doubt she’s busy.

Slash: ‘Velvet Revolver might continue without Scott Weiland’ [NME
[Photo: WENN]

  • Mick Kraut

    Is Gary Cherone not an option?

    You cant pull Ian Astbury away from Billy Duffy…like Mick without Keef…

    I wouldnt go old school…get a newer guy, someone with the chops to cover some old GNR but strong enough to stand on his own…

  • Ned Raggett

    @Mick Kraut: You cant pull Ian Astbury away from Billy Duffy…like Mick without Keef…

    I see someone’s forgotten Riders on the Storm — wisely.

  • Charlie Kerfelds Jetsons Tee




  • J DTZR

    I forgot about Tesla dude’s unintentionally hysterical performance at that Station benefit. Sounded just like Eric Cartman.

    I mean, the dude’s voice was always kind of grating, but that was embarrassing.

    As for VR, Scott Stapp is the obvious choice.

  • AcidReign

        I think Bo Bice would be very nice, along with the sanitized, thinly mixed guitars of Velvet Revolver.

  • MickFNS

    Enough crapola! It should be Rod jackson, the singer from Slash’s Snakepit
    who sang on “Ain’t Life Grand” (totally underrated fuckin’ awesome disc)…
    either that or it’ll be me…

  • D Day

    The guy who replaced the guy who was Axl’s friend in Blind Melon?

    What about Ralph from Atomic Punks/Metal School – they could do covers of themselves

    RE: Rod Jackson – good voice, but Slash pretty much called him out as a junkie he couldn’t depend on in his autobiography.

  • Anonymous

    @D Day: You know you’ve failed at life when fucking Slash calls you a junkie.

  • D Day

    @Superawesomerad: Yup. Maybe he can get a band together with Steven Adler.
    Is Adler still alive?

  • wakeupbomb

    Come on people, is there a more obvious choice than Justin Hawkins from The Darkness? Seriously, the Darkness broke up (didn’t they?) and he’s got the pipes to cover Axl’s high notes, and rock out on his own.

  • Herschel Weatherly

    yes, I think so. It’s a good post.