The comments on last week’s post about recent anti-emo violence in Mexico were startling, with people arguing whether or not it was hilarious that people were being physically attacked for the way they dressed. So I hope that the feud between “scene kids” and “emos” in Australia stays on the net, where it belongs, so the roffles may never end. What are “scene kids,” you ask? Judging by this wiki, they’re like emos except… um… uh… Man, if this ever spilled out into the streets, I don’t know how these kids would know whose big mop of dyed hair to pull.
Here are the nine steps to becoming a “Scene Kid.” These are from a wiki, so part of me hopes this is all a joke. One big joke on us all.
1. Become active on Myspace, Stickam, Buzznet and other social networking sites. Post a tons of pictures of yourself and the shows you’ve been to. These should all be at strange angles [usually from above and a little to the side].
2. Get Scene Hair. Scene hair is usually black or bleached blonde and sometimes has random neon streaks such as pink or green in it, but this is not a must. Its usually very big and puffy at the top, the size of this depending on the length of your layers.
3. Wear eyeliner. Black eyeliner is a must for all scene kids, especially the girls. I would suggest to start out with the pencil eyeliner, as it is easier to apply and doesn’t get as messy if you make a mistake. Once you get better at applying this, you can gradually start using liquid liner.
4. Wear skinny jeans or straight leg jeans. While the tighter the better, find a decent fit for you, because no one will talk to you if you look like a fashion victim.
5. Stock up on band shirts and graphic shirts. If you’ve done your music research, load up on classic band t-shirts (i.e. Enter Shikari). Get the tightest fitting t-shirt, within reason. Scene kids should listen to “Conway Twitty”, “Jimmy Buffet”, “Harry Chapin” and “Brook Benton”.
6. Get classic shoes. Start with Vans Classics, or some Converse, then branch out to any style of Vans you want.
7. Accessorize. If you’re a girl, invest in necklaces that have spiders, broken hearts, owls, Hellokitty, keys, cobwebs, skulls, and the like. If you’re a guy, keep your keys dangling on the side with a carabiner attached to a belt loop.
8. Take up the scene writing style. Add extra letters to many of your words. For example: “rawwr” “kiiid” “kayyy” “baaby”. Spelling your name in odd ways is popular as well, as is giving yourself a second name in addition to your first. Use scene lingo like “rad”, “Ace”, “stellar” and “niggz.”
9. Go to shows. Shows are important, and all scene kids know everything about their music. If you know some local bands, be their friends, and brag about it. Girls should mosh at shows. People hate scene girls that don’t mosh
Oooh boy. This is what Enter Shikari sounds like, btw.
Yeah, that’s not emo.