A Foreign Emo Feud You Can Comfortably Laugh About

Mar 31st, 2008 // 21 Comments

scene%20kids.jpgThe comments on last week’s post about recent anti-emo violence in Mexico were startling, with people arguing whether or not it was hilarious that people were being physically attacked for the way they dressed. So I hope that the feud between “scene kids” and “emos” in Australia stays on the net, where it belongs, so the roffles may never end. What are “scene kids,” you ask? Judging by this wiki, they’re like emos except… um… uh… Man, if this ever spilled out into the streets, I don’t know how these kids would know whose big mop of dyed hair to pull.

Here are the nine steps to becoming a “Scene Kid.” These are from a wiki, so part of me hopes this is all a joke. One big joke on us all.

1. Become active on Myspace, Stickam, Buzznet and other social networking sites. Post a tons of pictures of yourself and the shows you’ve been to. These should all be at strange angles [usually from above and a little to the side].

2. Get Scene Hair. Scene hair is usually black or bleached blonde and sometimes has random neon streaks such as pink or green in it, but this is not a must. Its usually very big and puffy at the top, the size of this depending on the length of your layers.

3. Wear eyeliner. Black eyeliner is a must for all scene kids, especially the girls. I would suggest to start out with the pencil eyeliner, as it is easier to apply and doesn’t get as messy if you make a mistake. Once you get better at applying this, you can gradually start using liquid liner.

4. Wear skinny jeans or straight leg jeans. While the tighter the better, find a decent fit for you, because no one will talk to you if you look like a fashion victim.

5. Stock up on band shirts and graphic shirts. If you’ve done your music research, load up on classic band t-shirts (i.e. Enter Shikari). Get the tightest fitting t-shirt, within reason. Scene kids should listen to “Conway Twitty”, “Jimmy Buffet”, “Harry Chapin” and “Brook Benton”.

6. Get classic shoes. Start with Vans Classics, or some Converse, then branch out to any style of Vans you want.

7. Accessorize. If you’re a girl, invest in necklaces that have spiders, broken hearts, owls, Hellokitty, keys, cobwebs, skulls, and the like. If you’re a guy, keep your keys dangling on the side with a carabiner attached to a belt loop.

8. Take up the scene writing style. Add extra letters to many of your words. For example: “rawwr” “kiiid” “kayyy” “baaby”. Spelling your name in odd ways is popular as well, as is giving yourself a second name in addition to your first. Use scene lingo like “rad”, “Ace”, “stellar” and “niggz.”

9. Go to shows. Shows are important, and all scene kids know everything about their music. If you know some local bands, be their friends, and brag about it. Girls should mosh at shows. People hate scene girls that don’t mosh

Oooh boy. This is what Enter Shikari sounds like, btw.

Yeah, that’s not emo.

Inside the clash of teen subcultures [Syndey Morning Herald]
How To Be A Scene Kid [WikiHow]
Enter Shikari ‘Sorry Youre Not A Winner’ video [YouTube]

  1. Tenno

    Damn, in my experience emo and scene kids are the same damn thing, scene kids just hate being called emo, and that’s emo as fuck!

  2. blobby

    FWIW, I am fairly sure, though not positive, that I have seen that list on joke websites.

  3. thearcanemodel

    (1) god bless you for anticipating and satisfying my query as to enter shikari. such selfless investigative journalism is not seen every day. i know it couldn’t have been easy.

    (2) “niggz”? i really hope that’s not the shorthand i suspect it may be.

    (3) i am ever more grateful for my nerdy, awkward, guileless 13-year old days. if i were these girls 15 years from now, i would personally find my gap tee n’ braces snapshots a hell of a lot less mortifying than the above.

    (3)(a) re princess coldstare on the left: is her head detached from her body? or is she just exhibiting a creepy mastery of the “strange angles” thing? i’m thinking it could go either way.

  4. iantenna

    Scene kids should listen to “Conway Twitty”, “Jimmy Buffet”, “Harry Chapin” and “Brook Benton”.

    damn. i need to move to australia.

  5. Tenno

    @thearcanemodel: The casual ‘ironic’ manner that scene kids and emos both hurl the word niggaz, nigger, niggar or niggz is bizarre. Mainly because the majority of them would break if some hiphop kid punched them.

  6. Anonymous

    so is this the mods vs rockers of our generation?

    unfortunately enter shikara is nothing like the who

  7. Garrison Dean

    I don’t care what group you’re in, if you want to be in a musical subculture, you better be at least a little tough, otherwise you’re askin for it. Its why goths stayed in their parents basements, they knew better.

  8. SuperUnison

    This makes me really nostalgiac for the days when emo was just a term ofr pop-punk bands who didn’t make poop jokes.

    @Tenno: They had to figure out a way to get whiter. Hence, they will crack the equation and all be listening to indie rock two years from now.

  9. Anonymous

    Enter Shikari isn’t actually emo or scene, they’re probably electro/core/metal, trace/core/tronica, or some cacophony or genres melded together. All I know is they have good riffs and a killer live show. I saw them live at Highline Ballroom and was very impressed. The energy was intense, the crowd was full of scenesters, hipsters and preps, but JESUS CHRIST, was the mosh pit crazy. I saw some scene kids get knocked the fuck out, hard. It was a great show, and I definitely recommend them as a live show…for $10, it was worth it, probably a bit more.

  10. Anonymous

    So are emo frontmen all descended from a single breeding pair or something? They all sound EXACTLY ALIKE.

  11. Anonymous

    The carabiners always crack me up. Teenagers have, like, two keys at the very most – not really enough to justify the use of a carabiner – so they always load the thing up with novelty keychains from Spencer Gifts to add bulk.

  12. SuperUnison

    @The Notorious T: I actually have the same carabiner I had in 1998. And you know what? I’ve only lost/locked my keys somewhere twice in that ten-year period. You know why? Cause they’re always clipped to my ass. I need to be killed for hipster crimes if I ever become too cool for carabiners and polarfleece.

  13. KurticusMaximus

    Wow, Enter Shakiri sound a lot like Scaring Kids Scaring Kids. Who knew?

    From that little list, it sounds like “Scene Kids” are just hipster versions of “Emo Kids.” They listen to basically the same music, just prefering more obscure bands, with a few ironic out-of-genre choices thrown in for good measure, and they have an unjustifiable sense of superiority.

  14. amandacobra

    i am still trying to figure what sort of establishment shakira is trying to gain access to? surely she’s a-list enough to always be able to enter through the back door or after hours?

    my mom thought my carabiner was a good idea and recently purchased one for herself. so a carabiner can be the calling card of an emo kid, a scene kid or the oft-forgotten third group: people who don’t like to lose their keys and frequently have lots of stuff in their hands that they have to carry from their car to their house.

  15. jetblackturd

    Music? There’s music? I just thought it was a scene about boys kissing each other..n’ stuff.

    This is Dennis Cooper posting btw.

  16. Tenno

    @SuperUnison: They are the colorful Bizarro world versions of the Japanese Gan-guro… just white instead of neon orange.

    Meanwhile, here I sit listening to Combichrist and the new B-52′s so I guess I can’t really judge them can I?

  17. DRR

    We’re entering this weird dynamic where some tongue-in-cheek list on how to be “emo” or “hardcore” or “scene” published by some smart aleck teens in 2003-2004, ends up becoming an authentic go to guide for 13 year old Australian girls in 2008.

    And let’s get it straight, “scene kids” or scenesters has already been around for awhile with the young folks. The whole concept is being part of or involved in a scene and since these girls apparantly just invented this yesterday, I don’t think it qualifies.

    Also, Blink 182, Rancid, Offspring? since when do self identified “emos” primarily listen to mid 90′s pop punk?

    I’m getting way too old.

  18. CarsmileSteve

    @DRR: actually maura wrote it in 2001 ;)

  19. The Notorious T

    @canhazhipster: I don’t know. These “scene” kids sound more glam than anything else. Maybe they’ve seen Velvet Goldmine a few too many times?

    @Superawesomerad: I had a carabiner on my keychain back in 1998. So did everyone else. All it did was make my keychain unbearably bulky (especially since it was an actual stainless steel climbing carabiner as opposed to the aluminum ones you get at Hot Topic). Either way, someone should tell these kids that ten years might not be enough time to recycle that unfortunate trend. I don’t think it’s been so long as to be ironic.

  20. StarlingSlipstream

    I just died a little after reading this. God help us…

  21. hey yea um my friend is emo scene and um i really like the style but my mom wont let me dress like that so what do i do about that? plz help!!!!

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