The CMT Awards Take “One-Hit Wonder” Jokes To An Uncomfortable New Level

AP080414025322.jpgLast night’s CMT Music Awards–the country-music television network’s version of its sister network MTV’s Video Music Awards–veered into “a little more than slightly excruciating” territory when co-host Miley Cyrus tripped her way through a Taylor Swift intro in which she talked about texting the glittery-guitar-hoisting country protege incessantly, an endless setup to what would be one of many “ha ha, Dad, I’m paying your bills!” zingers that the Hannah Montana star sent in the direction of her father/svengali, “Achy Breaky Heart” singer Billy Ray Cyrus. (Yes, he performed the line dance that sent him and his mullet to stardom back in 1992, the same year his cash cow was sired.) The opening skit, in which Trace Adkins and his really greasy mop tried currying favor with everyone from Donald Trump to the three remaining Presidential candidates in order to get passes to the show, also mined that route; its final punchline was that Billy Ray was making extra scratch by scalping tickets, which were of course hot properties because of his daughter’s presence. That girl is going to be so messed up in three years. Full list of winners–which includes three awards for Kellie Pickler, two for Taylor Swift, and one for that super-creepy video where Jon Bon Jovi and Leann Rimes make out–after the jump.

_ Video of the year: Taylor Swift, “Our Song.”
_ Male video: Trace Adkins, “I Got My Game On.”
_ Female video: Taylor Swift, “Our Song.”
_ Group video: Rascal Flatts, “Take Me There.”
_ Duo video: Sugarland, “Stay.”
_ Breakthrough video: Kellie Pickler, “I Wonder.”
_ Collaborative video: Bon Jovi featuring LeAnn Rimes, “Till We Ain’t Strangers Anymore.”
_ Performance of the year: Kellie Pickler, “I Wonder” from 41st Annual CMA Awards.
_ Supporting character of the year: Rodney Carrington from Trace Adkins’ “I Got My Game On.”
_ Wide open country video: Alison Krauss and Robert Plant, “Gone, Gone, Gone (Done Moved On).”
_ Tearjerker video: Kellie Pickler, “I Wonder.”
_ Comedy video: Brad Paisley, “Online.”
_ Video director: Michael Salomon for Toby Keith’s “High Maintenance Woman” and Trace Adkins’ “I Got My Game On.”

Pickler, Swift big winners at CMT Music Awards [Reuters]
[Photo: AP]

  • Rob Murphy

    That girl is going to be so messed up in three years…

    I suspect a little less “so messed up”, a little more “so Hilary Duff”…

  • Maura Johnston

    @Rob Murphy: Did Hilary Duff have tooth veneers before her super sweet 16?

  • Thierry

    @Rob Murphy: As long as she’s not “so Raven”, Dad and the creditors will be happy.

    Also, am I the only one who gets the feeling that Billy Ray’s going to regret that unfortunate haircut as much as the Achy Breaky Mullet in five years’ time?

  • Clevertrousers

    Watching the CMTs makes small town people bitter, so they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren’t like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations.

  • Clevertrousers

    @Thierry: Who says he regrets the mullet?

  • BigRicks

    @Maura Johnston: I remember reading somewhere that Hillary Duff or Mandy Moore had veneers put on relatively early because she “chipped her teeth on the microphone.”

  • Rob Murphy


  • Rob Murphy

    @Maura Johnston: Before 16? Don’t know about that. But Hils is quite open about the fact that she’s had lot’s of dental work done. She says she has many times chipped her teeth on her microphones while singing.


  • Rob Murphy

    @Rob Murphy: Extraneous apostrophe. Ugh.

  • Falconfire

    @Maura Johnston: Does that matter? I know a lot of girls and guys who have because of various reasons.

    My wife wishes she had because they would have lasted a lot longer than what she has on her teeth now.

  • Silverfuture

    @Clevertrousers: You’re obviously out-of-touch and elitist.

  • gun fu

    aa a a a a