Phil Collins Half-Retires, Inspires Much Premature Rejoicing

AP060623011230.jpgHey, everyone who broke into a chorus of “Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead” when you heard that Phil Collins was retiring from music–you do realize that he only said he’d be retiring from recording it or playing live, right? Because he has some sort of music-graphomania that is going to make him keep writing until he finally gives up the ghost, fingers clutching a pencil that’s just finished plotting out another big “DUH-DUH-DUH-DUH-DUH-DUH” fake-drum break? I mean, sure, the fact that he’s going to stop Mac Tonighting his way through atrocious covers of Motown hits is a reason to be sorta happy. But I wouldn’t say that the world is free from the possibility of a sequel to “Illegal Alien” being written yet–shit, dude is probably taking meetings on how to turn that song into a musical (featuring a video cameo by Lou Dobbs!) right now.

Here’s where I add that I love the above song, and probably will forever.

PHIL COLLINS announces musical retirement [NME]

  • James Tiberius Quirk

    Why is there a picture of Moby?

  • Sniffle

    Phil plans on spending his remaining days writing Lite-FM hits for his successor, JonBenet Archuletta.

  • Lucas Jensen

    I love Phil Collins. There I said it.

  • brasstax

    Wait, what? I thought there was going to be another Genesis record. :(

  • Chris N.

    I too am a fan.

  • SAShepherd

    Mr. Collins has much to answer for, and I can’t say that retiring now is going to affect the musical world, well, at all.

    But, man, I loved just about everything he did in the ’80s, and pretty much still do.

  • Anonymous

    I love everything he drummed on in the 70′s…too bad he went on to muck it all up post 1981…

  • Anonymous

    This is such a cock tease. Today is the press-release saying he’s ending his solo career, then he releases one on Monday to say that he’s officially joining Bone Thugs.

  • Anonymous

    I love him. Always have. Except that time he made the Ronald Reagan puppet out of the Alf costume. That video freaks me out.

  • Bob F.

    Is he still dating Dana Tyler from WCBS-TV? If you ask me, THAT’s the highlight of his career.