Hey, everyone who broke into a chorus of “Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead” when you heard that Phil Collins was retiring from music–you do realize that he only said he’d be retiring from recording it or playing live, right? Because he has some sort of music-graphomania that is going to make him keep writing until he finally gives up the ghost, fingers clutching a pencil that’s just finished plotting out another big “DUH-DUH-DUH-DUH-DUH-DUH” fake-drum break? I mean, sure, the fact that he’s going to stop Mac Tonighting his way through atrocious covers of Motown hits is a reason to be sorta happy. But I wouldn’t say that the world is free from the possibility of a sequel to “Illegal Alien” being written yet–shit, dude is probably taking meetings on how to turn that song into a musical (featuring a video cameo by Lou Dobbs!) right now.
Here’s where I add that I love the above song, and probably will forever.