Blind Item! Which Indie Rocker Made The Mistake Of Screwing A <i>Times</i> Writer?

Apr 28th, 2008 // 22 Comments

julieklausner.jpgThe Sunday NYT features a gripping “Modern Love” column in which comedienne Julie Klausner has sex with an indie rocker who doesn’t text back promptly. Even though found his stereotypical, passive shtick annoying, she thought he was cute and was mildly disappointed when it turned out he was only interested in casual sex. Aside from his having an illegitimate child, most of the details regarding this awkward singer are pretty damn universal. Universal enough that one might wonder what the hell she was expecting from the dalliance, and definitely universal enough that there’s no guarantee that this guy is even famous. But we can dream.

What we know (assuming this isn’t bullshit):

• He’s cute.

• He hangs out at NYC karaoke nights.

• Karaoke nights where you can do “Christmas Wrapping” by the Waitresses.

• He doesn’t use capital letters in e-mails.

• He has sharp cheekbones.

• “He’s an indie rock dreamboat. His voice is transcendent and he writes lovely lyrics. He has a nice face, he has a kid and he tours a lot. He’s a star in his world.”

• His music is “typical emo stuff: droney, thick, exhausting, but obviously heartfelt.”

• His babymama lives overseas.

Seeing as how the little boy has yellow hair, I want to assume it’s Evan Dando. Sure, I don’t know if Evan has a kid, and it’s probable that Klausner would have known of him already, but still. Evan Dando. Mmmm.

Here’s a clip of Julie Klausner singing “Honky Cat” with some cats.

She performs at Joe’s Pub looking that good, and this is the first time a rock musician not looking for commitment tried to hit her up? Really?

Was I on a Date or Baby-Sitting? [NYT; HT Jami Attenberg]
Honky Cat by Julie Klasner [MySpace]

  1. AL

    Is “emo” now officially a descriptor for all guitar music?

  2. Maura Johnston

    @AL: styles section copyeditors are not really up on the finer points of musical genres.

  3. MickFNS

    I thought Gawker or Jezebel said it was some dude from Nada Surf. Anyway, who cares? I read that thing yesterday and had sympathy for her whatsoever: he was clearly a scumbag from the word go and still she went for him. Yawn.

  4. Clevertrousers

    There is something totally gross about using ’70s children’s programming as an aphrodesiac.

  5. NickEddy

    On the bright side, now I have heard of Julie Klasner. Plus, the Pipettes are hiring!

  6. NickEddy

    @NickEddy: The missing “u” in Klausner above is for “U better believe I thought the bridge from ‘Paper Boat’ off “Let Go” was just gorgeous!”

  7. TheContrarian

    My guess is duder from Dandy Warhols.

  8. Lucas Jensen

    She IS super-cute. Whoa.

  9. magic1

    I thought Stephen Malkmus owned the “indie rock dreamboat” decription, plus he has a kid.

  10. Catbirdseat

    I like how when Gawker posted this, they just went ahead and put a picture of Matthew Caws up with it

  11. Clevertrousers

    @Big Gray.: Seriously… Unless it was actually Malkmus or Dando, she could definitely do better…

  12. Nunya B

    @Clevertrousers: Even if it were Evan Dando, she could still do better. Malkmus… eh. Maybe. “Marginal.”

  13. Clevertrousers

    @Catbirdseat: Does Caws have the cheekbones? He’s got kind of a carb-face going on…

  14. Clevertrousers

    @kisskisskiss: You’re probably right… I just checked out her webpage – she’s a pretty awesome talent all around. Thanks for letting us non-Times readers know, Idolator!

  15. queensissy

    Even in my I love pale immature little boys phase, I never dated anybody who used the word “bestest.” I never even fucked anybody who used that word.

  16. OingoBobo

    Should this story be filed at hotchickswithdouchebags.com?

  17. Charlie Kerfelds Jetsons Tee

    She almost has a “Mrs. Wormer” look going on in that photo…

    …which is astoundingly attractive.

  18. SuperUnison

    That was depressing.

  19. TheContrarian

    Why is no one talking about how tight the band playing “Honky Cat” is? The bass player is killer, and the pianist is tickling them ivories like nobody’s bidness. Maybe I’m just a sucker for boogie-woogie shuffles and horn shouts.

  20. Tenno

    =( wow, she’s pretty amazing. fell for the old ‘i’m obviously a douchebag, you must sex me!’

    i like telling people how i once got it on to ‘the emperor’s new groove’, which most agree is stupid as hell, if entertaining.

  21. Anonymous

    @Tenno: “The Emperor’s New Groove” is sex on melba toast, yo. Patrick Warburton is a certified panty dropper.

  22. Anonymous

    doesn’t anyone else find it in awfully poor taste for her to write about his son in any fashion? i mean, really. leave the kid and any custody battles out of your woe is me public bashing.

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