Howard Stern Makes Poop Joke, Dolly Parton Upset

AP080320028543.jpgLast week, Howard Stern and his hapless menagerie feigned mild amusement at a series of profane and poorly edited sound clips of Dolly Parton talking about penis, shit, Kenny Rogers, Johnny Carson’s “big black cock,” and other sundry topics in her new “audiobook.” One drive-time commute that was not enriched by this cut-up comedy was Dolly Parton’s, who’s hopping mad and threatening a lawsuit. Howard will undoubtedly send her a bouquet of flowers and a picture of his butt as thanks for the attention with which this may eventually reward him.

I have never been so shocked, hurt and humiliated in all my life. I cannot believe what Howard Stern has done to me. In a blue million years, I would never have such vulgar things come out of my mouth. They have done editing or some sort of trickery to make this horrible, horrible thing. Please accept my apology for them and certainly know I had nothing to do with this. If there was ever going to be a lawsuit, it’s going to be over this. Just wanted you to know that I am completely devastated by this.

What surprises me about the “audiobook” bit isn’t the vacuously bawdy humor so much as the lack of enthusiasm those involved can muster. The recording is full of dead pauses and only the mildest of chuckles. It sounds like naptime is just as likely to follow as an interview with someone who once had sex with a famous person. I always assumed shock jockery was full of sound effects and hyena-like henchmen keeping the mood boisterous and lively, but this comes off like an anally fixated Tom Snyder.

Are bits like this really so crucial to Stern’s art that he’d rather sit alone in a void than return to terrestrial radio? Is making Dolly Parton cry and getting idiot teachers fired all that he’s been up to? Is he giving shock jocks a bad name here or is he still a cut above the competition? And why don’t people in cars just put on a fucking CD?

Howard Stern – 6/5/2008 – Dolly Parton Audio Book [YouTube]

  • Dead Air ummm Dead Air

    “Hoo-hoo, I invented sound clip editting, Robin. Everyone just copied me. Tell em Fred.”

  • GhostOfDuane

    “Stern’s art”

    Good one!

  • The Cosmic Kid

    I actually find this funny.

  • brasstax

    @The Cosmic Kid: Me too, and I thought I was over Stern jokes 10 years ago.

  • Anonymous

    Me too.

  • Audif Jackson Winters III

    Man, should I feel bad for cracking up at this when I first heard it last week?

    In any case, half the joke is how weird and unnatural the clips sound when spliced together inartfully. Anyone who has heard it will never forget how the staff managed to put together clips to get Jay Leno to say the word “asshole.”

  • Mick Kraut

    He did one from William Shatner audiobooks this morning that was fantastic…the fact that Shatner was sitting in the studio while it was being played made it all the funnier…

  • Clevertrousers

    Howard Stern is still alive?

  • Rabi

    Don’t break your neck falling off that high horse of yours, Anthony. Bashing Stern is like so Tipper Gore, circa 1987. It’s fucking Stern, man! Of course its middle school potty humor.

    And who knew that about Kenny Rogers?

  • loudersoft

    I have always thought the audiobook edits was one of Stern’s funnier bits, but something about hearing Dolly Parton describing loving n*****r cock and Kenny Rogers pissing in little boy’s asses really makes me uncomfortable.

  • NeverEnough

    That made me laugh like a lunatic. LOVE him.

  • Anonymous

    hey, look up — the sky’s blue!

  • brandonsoderberg

    C’mon, this is a dumb throwaway joke from Stern where the joke is as much this isn’t that funny and poorly done as it is “we cut her voice up to say dirty things”…the tone of this entry’s really weird.

  • Anonymous

    I like her boobies.

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