Let’s Find John McCain A Theme Song

He’s tried John Cougar Mellencamp. He’s tried Chuck Berry. He’s even tried ABBA (sez McCain: “”Nobody likes them, but they sold more records than anybody in the history of the world, including The Beatles. But everybody hates them. You’re a no-class guy if you like ABBA. Why does everybody go see ‘Mamma Mia?’ Hypocrisy! Rank hypocrisy! I’m not embarassed to say I like ABBA, ‘Dancing Queen.’”) But nobody seems to want John McCain using their music as his campaign theme. What, doesn’t one of those Hillary Clinton fans who swear they’d rather vote Republican than for Obama own a worthwhile copyright?

The McCain camp is having trouble settling on a suitable campaign anthem. After searching for months, it finally picked “Johnny B Goode” – Chuck Berry’s rock ‘n’ roll classic from 1958. The high-power guitar licks and “Go, Johnny, go” chorus put a spring in Mr McCain’s step. When asked why he chose it, he quipped: “It might be because it is the only one [the artist] hasn’t complained about us using.”

Berry, 81, may not have complained about his song being appropriated by Mr McCain, but he has made it clear he would prefer Barack Obama in the White House. “America has finally come to this point where you can pick a man of colour and that not be a drawback,” Berry said. “It’s no question, myself being a man of colour. I mean, you have to feel good about it.”

…There was a groan at McCain headquarters as it suffered yet another musical derailment. An attempt to use Abba’s “Take A Chance On Me” also bombed. “We played it a couple times and it’s my understanding [Abba] went berserk,” Mr McCain said.

Maybe John doesn’t realize that angry Farm Aid supporters, old black men and Swedes aren’t really the kind of artists he should be attempting to gain musical support from right now. Why not use that legendary anthem of ass-kickin’ foreign policy, Toby Keith’s “Courtesy Of The Red, White And Blue?”

If he’s tired of Obama calling him out as a carbon copy of our current president, why not mock the concept with AC/DC’s “Beating Around The Bush?”

And if he wants to embrace the comparison, why not take advantage of John Ashcroft’s “Let The Eagle Soar?”

But if you really want to show your core voter base that you mean business, thinki about commissioning some original material from the Nuge.

I’d sugest he name the track “FREEEDDDOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM” but you don’t want to worry about any lawsuits from George Michael or Rage Against The Machine.

Take A Chance On Him [YouTube]
John McCain: ABBA Fan?? [ABC News]
No, Johnny, No: Chuck Berry joins chorus of musicians snubbing McCain’s campaign [Independent]
Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue (The Angry American) [YouTube]
John Ashcroft [YouTube]
Beating Around The Bush – AC/DC [YouTube]
Ted Nugent Goes Off On Obama And Hillary! [YouTube]

  • loudersoft

    It’s already ruined, so why not this classic

  • alec_baldwin

    I can’t do it. Secret Service will track down my IP address and come to my house to get me with what I would recommend.

  • BawstonSean

    What about “Justified and Ancient” by the KLF? It might be a tad too obvious…

  • Chris Molanphy

    I ain’t voting for him, but I have to give McCain props: trying this hard, as a Republican, to come up with a campaign song even a step to the left of Toby Keith and the reliable Nashville brigade is brave. Proposing ABBA is even braver.

    Has he tried Alice Cooper yet? (“Welcome to My Nightmare,” anyone?) That dude’s reliably conservative and less scary than the Nuge.

  • Thierry

    Is there any good reason not to pick “This Ain’t Mexico”?

  • Captain Wrong

    Are they really shocked that stereotypically liberal musicians aren’t exactly excited about Bush Part 2 using their music for campaign rallies? If they are, than they are even more out of touch than I feared. For christ sake, I’ve seen Mellencamp at fund raisers for local Democrats and IIRC he’s played for bothe Clinton and Obama. What did McCain expect??

  • Sasquatch

    Well, he is trying to pander to the religious right. How about “Jesus Saves” by Slayer? I’m sure they wouldn’t get the lyrics anyway, they’ll just focus on the title.

  • cockfightbarmitzvah

    Public Enemy – By The Time I Get To Arizona

  • dreamsneverend

    hall & oates “out of touch”

  • el smrtmnky

    @BawstonSean: so genius!

    Carole King–It’s too late or Air–Cemetery Party.

    on a related note, LOVED harry shearer’s music choice on hillary’s dropping out:

  • alec_baldwin

    OK. I relent only because of the title.

    Rolling Stones-Sympathy for the Devil