Clique Girlz Vie For The All-Important “Women 35-85″ Demographic

Jun 18th, 2008 // 5 Comments

clique%20girlz2.pngThe most interesting thing about hyper-marketed teen groups like Clique Girlz is the often spectacularly lame publicity machines they’re saddled with, which succeed in gaining them exposure but fumble in other ways, like throwing them out to entirely age-inappropriate audiences. (JoJo’s performance at the 2000 Republican National Convention is but one example.) Yesterday, the Clique Girlz’ journey toward middling success and a disappointing late adolescence resulted in one such appearance: The credit-crazy singing group hit the stage of NBC’s Today, because there’s no better way to reel in the 10-15 demographic than a song or two on an early-morning program geared toward rich, middle-aged housewives.

I’m glad this video includes the uncomfortable intro banter. I believe Al Roker hits the nail on the head when he proclaims, “It’s like Hannah Montana times three!” Three times the Autotune, three times the vapidness, three times the crushing depression. Good call, Al!

Probably my favorite part of the whole video is the ten-second pre-commercial shot (starting at :38) of the girls on set with their bedazzled microphone stands waving, posing, and smiling painfully for the camera. It’s just so overwhelmingly contrived and uncomfortable. It seems as if there’s someone–perhaps a shrill New Jersey stage mom?–standing just off stage, whisper-yelling “Keep smiling girls! Now put your hands on your hips! Wave! Smile!”

As for the performance itself, they at least appear to be actually singing, though I have my doubts about certain portions of the chorus, which sound as if they’re being piped in from an Alvin and the Chipmunks concert inside of a helium balloon. And I wonder why they chose the boring quasi-Christian song instead of the slightly-less-boring mainstream single.

Curmudgeonly tangent: I’m the last person on earth to interrupt someone mid-sentence to correct them on their “I/me” subject/object mistakes–it’s rude and unnecessary–but can someone please take the blond one (haha) aside for about three minutes and teach her proper pronoun usage? Her banter with Ann Curry is littered with incorrect uses of “me” (“Me and Paris are sisters,” “Me and Ariel met in school,” “Me and Paris were doing a duet”). Not that every other 14-year-old in the world doesn’t constantly make the same mistake, but then again, not every other 14-year-old in the world is groomed within an inch of her life to appear on live national television. The least she could do is not talk like a caveman.

  1. bcapirigi

    i guess it’ll make it easier to max out your parents’ credit cards on clique girlz merchandise, because your parents will be all like ‘oh yeah, those nice blonde girls i saw on the today show. one of them was named destinee with two e’s. isn’t that adorable?’

  2. Anonymous

    “Hannah Montana Times Three”???

    Has Al Roker’s formerly insatiable appetite for food been replaced by one for underaged starlets?

  3. Thierry

    Is the world ready for a teenage, less-talented Wilson Phillips? And I pity the third, non-sister girl – one single into their career, she already looks like she’s being pushed out of the spotlight (despite being the only one who seemed remotely close to being on key).

    Also, I call shenanigans on those stacked chorus vocals…

  4. Anonymous

    I saw them live while watching a performance of Demi Lovato (a less slutty, less markated Disney star with actual talent). I kind of was frightened. The ten year old girl had the biggest hair. So much makeup. And the dancing was way innapropriate. They non-sister singer Ariel and the little one were on metal folding chairs, dancing, semi-grinding. They are cute kids. But too cute. A Ten Year old should not be forced into this. And they say they have been together for 4 years. So what was the little one – 6 and acting all mature?!?!

  5. greenpeace618

    I'm sorry, if you have to stand on your tip toes to reach the mic stand at it's lowest level…maybe, just maybe you aren't old enough for the limelight. oh yeah…and if you can't sing (which only that girl ariel can) you shouldn't be famous.

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