Can Emphysematic Amy Winehouse Avoid Drugs Long Enough To Sing For Mandela?

Jun 23rd, 2008 // 2 Comments

AP080220057410.jpgThanks to her prodigious intake of cigarettes and crack pipes, the 24-year-old Amy Winehouse has come down with a slight case of emphysema and an irregular heartbeat. Says her daddy Mitch, “With smoking the crack cocaine and the cigarettes her lungs are all gunked up. There are nodules around the chest and dark marks. She’s got 70% lung capacity.” Mostly, this diagnosis reaffirms what we already knew: if she’s not on stage singing, she’s probably off somewhere getting closer to death. “If she hadn’t done recent shows in Moscow and Portugal she could have been dead by now. She abstains and regulates her drug use when she has to do a show. When she’s been inactive work-wise then that’s when the problems really start.” So how do they plan to keep her well enough to hopefully sing at Nelson Mandela’s birthday bash on Friday, and, God willing, Glastonbury? By avoiding Pete Doherty!

“I’m saying to those drug dealers, and they know who they are, if they are supplying crack to Amy, then they’ve got to take responsibility,” her father said. “I don’t want her hanging out with her mates like Pete Doherty either.”

Meanwhile, Amy’s husband, Blake Fielder-Civil, is calling his wife every day to “help her stay strong”, Mitch said. Fielder-Civil is, of course, not the most stable of supporters, and currently awaits sentencing for grievous bodily harm and attempting to pervert the course of justice.

“Blake apologised to me for getting Amy into drugs and says he’s going to try and put it right,” her father said.

Maybe if nothing distracts or upsets her, she’ll be able to focus on her work, and give us something other than “Winemouse” to react to. Yeah, all she needs is a quiet summer to collect herself. Oh, wait.

Glastonbury 2008: Winehouse may still play, despite emphysema [Guardian]

  1. Captain Wrong

    Nice DeFranco Family/Big Black reference there.

  2. Anthony Miccio

    @Captain Wrong: Wire wept.

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