Bloggers have been pretty quick to declare “Fashion,” the new single from Hills star Heidi Montag, the worst song of the year, if not ever. “This is no more a real song or a real stab at a music career than The Hills is real life,” says the A.V. Club’s The Hater. While I don’t plan on putting it in my top ten list or writing a ponderous essay about which parts were probably written by Heidi and which were written by producers that were perhaps trying to bring out the Heidi in Heidi, I can’t share the mouth foaming-offense that others have taken.
1. It has a beat.
Sure, it might be a less than striking one for fans of Deep House Dish, but Girl Talk fans have brought to my attention that indie rockers have been settling for less lately. And that’s just sad.
As any rapper would tell you, it’s important to have a trademark hook. This is one.
3. Worst ever? It’s not even the worst song released in this year to feature the word “Manolo” in it.
You may resent not being able to get Heidi’s song out of your head, but it takes concentrated effort to get Fergie’s hookless “Labels Or Love” in your head. The grating Sex And The City theme might be more complicatedly arranged and detailed, but if you’re looking for that, go listen to Rush or something. (I bet Geddy’d say “Manolo” funny, too.)
4. I’m a big fan of How I Met Your Mother, and “Fashion” is so Robin Sparkles I want to scream.
Right down to the French (Canadian) accent.
I can’t stand The Hills (even when I try to enjoy it as some post-feminist Beavis & Butthead), and I honestly don’t care whether Heidi Montag has a music career or not, but from Fergie on down we’re given songs less catchy and fun every damn day. Maybe in a few years, “Fashion” (like “My Humps,” the last song I can remember being responded to with such venom) will actually sound like a career highlight. And that would be our karmic due.
Heidi Montag – Fashion [YouTube]
New Heidi Montag Song Better If You Think Of It As Performance Art [The Hater]
Labels Or Love – Fergie [YouTube]
Robin Sparkles – “Let’s Go To The Mall” (full version) [YouTube]