Why Hasn’t There Been A Show About Oates’ Mustache Already?

Jun 27th, 2008 // 8 Comments

ithinksomelibertieswertakenwithhisbiceps.gifThe likes of The Singing Office and the show where they lend babies to people have shown that the wellspring of creativity at this nation’s television stations is running even drier than usual these days, so anything that shows even the slightest flicker of inspiration is greatly appreciated. Which is why you should know that it’s OK to get excited by Primary Wave Music Publishing’s announcement that it’s shopping an animated program starring John Oates’ mustache.

While it seems like much of the show’s material might be lifted from episodes of Yacht Rock, hey, it’s stil la cartoon about a singer’s facial hair.

As laid out in a two-minute trailer, Oates is portrayed as a modern-day family man and finds himself enticed back to the rock star life by his mustache, which is voiced by comedian Dave Attell…

It will portray Oates opening a new wing of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame that focuses on mustachioed musicians.

Suddenly, a dying David Crosby appears and with his last breath warns Oates of a mysterious secret group of mustache wearers bent on killing other mustache wearers. As actor Tom Selleck attempts to escape from the latest murder scene, Oates summons his own mustache with a fist pump that simultaneously changes his clothes from conservative attire to pink pants and white boots.

“This could go straight onto a network or we could launch it on the Web and then take it to a network,” Duby says. As one network executive who has seen the trailer says, “These guys are approaching the publishing business from a new angle. They’re taking rich copyrights and doing something innovative with them.”

Something about the proposed pilot makes this entire news story seem like somewhat of a kayfabe, but we can dream of a day when an animated, pink-pants-clad version of John Oates is wrestling Tom Selleck. Wait, maybe I don’t want to actually dream about that. Either way, this has the potential to be my favorite cartoon since the Ed Grimley Show.

In honor of this development, here are a few videos where the Oates mustache really shines:

Rich Girl:

She’s Gone:

Oates, Mustache Make Cartoon Crime-Fighting Team [Billboard]

  1. Clevertrousers

    why are hipsters so fucking obsessed with facial hair?

  2. Maura Johnston

    If this isn’t picked up by Adult Swim by day’s end, I’ll eat my copy of H2O.

  3. Rob Murphy

    I would definitely watch this.

  4. Jasonbob7

    Could catoon Oates team up with cartoon MC Hammer and cartoon Kiss for a very special Scooby Doo Rockin’ Halloween Spectacular?

  5. Stafford

    @Clevertrousers: Because you’re not. I’ve had a mustache off and on for about 3 or 4 years. While I mildly dislike the ironic mustache proliferation I’ve noticed in the past year, I do appreciate that the amount of child molester jokes slung my way have decreased exponentially. That all gets pretty old.

  6. Anonymous

    @Clevertrousers: @Stafford: I really want to underline this excellent question:

    “Why are hipsters so fucking obsessed with facial hair?”

    Because mustaches are the least attractive thing a man can wear. The child molester jokes come for a reason.

  7. Clevertrousers

    @stafford: i’m saying this as the younger brother of a dude who has worn the same giant, furry caterpillar of a thomas magnum ‘stache since he graduated college… in 1982! I seriously cannot remember what my older brother looks like without his early ’80s, straight to video porn star lip foliage. Now don’t get me wrong, when I was a young lad living the boho life in Prague in the early 90s I saw and wore my share of novelty facial topiary – standard issue goatees, post-90210 sideburns, king tuts, van dykes, gunslingers, beefsteak charlies; our souls were filled with art and our faces were our hairy canvases – the kind of thing that was pretty much killed off for good by the beardy-wierdy excesses of nu metal. still, i can’t help thinking that today’s hipsters have sadly limited their range to a very small subset of moustaches – from the Chuck Norris/Thomas Magnum/Larry Gatlin of the Gatlin Brothers on the tame end to the 70s swinger/child molester/man with a van on the wilder end. And I can’t help think that they all look like my dork of an older brother – and he’s a republican who works for the department of defense.

  8. TheMojoPin

    To hell with moustaches.

    I demand more new episodes of Yacht Rock.

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