The “writing ad-ready songs for the enjoyment of viewers at home and the delight of network accounting departments” reality show Jingles has had its debut, which was scheduled for later this month, pushed back by CBS, but that isn’t stopping the network from letting the world know that Kiss bassist and entrepreneur Gene Simmons is going to be one of the show’s judges. (I’m guessing he’s going to take the acid-tongued “Simon” spot on the panel.) This caused me to think about how Simmons’ body of work could itself be employed for the purposes of selling crap that people don’t really don’t need, via the time-tested “out of context lyric used to shill for a slightly incongruous product” method that so many ads employ these days. Five possible examples of how you could hear Kiss songs during breaks in Law & Order reruns after the jump.
Song: “Lick It Up”
Lyric: “Life’s such a treat and its time you taste it / There ain’t a reason on earth to waste it / It ain’t a crime to be good to yourself”
Product: Haagen-Dazs Reserve Ice Cream. (Especially the Fleur De Sel flavor, mmm.)
Song: “Do You Love Me?”
Lyric: “You like the credit cards and private planes / Money can really take you far / You like the hotels and fancy clothes / And the sound of electric guitars, but / Do you love me, do you love me”
Product: FreeCreditReport.com. And hey, given Courtney Love’s recent identity theft issues, maybe the Nirvana version could be used: