Five Kiss Songs That Could Easily Be Turned Into Jingles

Jul 17th, 2008 // 5 Comments

kiss_comic.gifThe “writing ad-ready songs for the enjoyment of viewers at home and the delight of network accounting departments” reality show Jingles has had its debut, which was scheduled for later this month, pushed back by CBS, but that isn’t stopping the network from letting the world know that Kiss bassist and entrepreneur Gene Simmons is going to be one of the show’s judges. (I’m guessing he’s going to take the acid-tongued “Simon” spot on the panel.) This caused me to think about how Simmons’ body of work could itself be employed for the purposes of selling crap that people don’t really don’t need, via the time-tested “out of context lyric used to shill for a slightly incongruous product” method that so many ads employ these days. Five possible examples of how you could hear Kiss songs during breaks in Law & Order reruns after the jump.

Song: “I Was Made For Lovin’ You”
Lyric: “And tonight I wanna lay it at your feet / ‘Cause girl, I was made for you / And girl, you were made for me”
Product: Crocs Mary Janes.

Song: “Heaven’s On Fire”
Lyric: “Feel my heat takin’ you higher / burn with me, Heaven’s on fire”
Product: Taco Bell’s Spicy Chicken Crunchwrap Supreme.

Song: “Lick It Up”
Lyric: “Life’s such a treat and its time you taste it / There ain’t a reason on earth to waste it / It ain’t a crime to be good to yourself”
Product: Haagen-Dazs Reserve Ice Cream. (Especially the Fleur De Sel flavor, mmm.)

Song: “Beth”
Lyric: “You say you feel so empty / That our house just ain’t our home / I’m always somewhere else / And you’re always there alone”
Product: ADT Security Systems.

Song: “Do You Love Me?”
Lyric: “You like the credit cards and private planes / Money can really take you far / You like the hotels and fancy clothes / And the sound of electric guitars, but / Do you love me, do you love me”
Product: FreeCreditReport.com. And hey, given Courtney Love’s recent identity theft issues, maybe the Nirvana version could be used:

If Julie Is Paula, Linda Kaplan Thaler Is Randy [Ad Age]

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  1. NickEddy

    “Goin’ Blind” for YOUR local shopping mall eyeglass bodega!

  2. Chris N.

    “Domino” for Domino’s.
    “Nothin’ to Lose” for the Las Vegas tourism bureau.
    “Detroit Rock City” for the Detroit tourism bureau (a tougher sell).
    “Christine Sixteen” for “don’t talk to skeezy strangers, kids” PSA.

  3. janine

    I’d figure “Detroit Rock City” would be better for an Allstate commercial.

  4. Captain Wrong

    Now that you mention it, how is it that God of Commerce Simmons hasn’t licensed the Kiss catalog out the ass?

  5. mike a

    “God Gave Rock & Roll To You” – Cornerstone Festival

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