Page Six is patting itself on the back this morning because it got the 1977 stag film Teenage Cruisers, which referred to itself as “the first X-rated rock n’ roll movie,” pulled from the catalog of Warner Music Group’s distribution arm Ryko. The WMG “insider” who talked to Page Six told the rag that the film’s presence in the company’s catalog was “very embarrassing,” but I’d be more embarrassed by the fact that this person is still employed, even though whoever it is apparently doesn’t know a lot about why the flick might be on Ryko’s virtual shelves.
First, the plot:
The 50′s, 60′s & 70′s all come together in The first X rated rock ‘n roll movie! Teenage Cruisers transcends three decades, taking the viewer on an erotic tour through the 50′s, 60′s and 70′s. A group of high school kids out cruising the main street of their town come upon a series of sexual scams, including a breasty bake-off and a live donkey show.
Meanwhile, a beautiful young nut named Babsy Beaudine escapes from a mental asylum and kidnaps a bewildered professor named Flinch. At the same time, a man is gobbled up in a pool, a guy named Johnny comes home to his love and an on-the-skin reporter goes bonkers, all to a rockabilly soundtrack that will pop your clutch and strip your gears!
Sell Points / Extras
1.THE FIRST X-RATED ROCK N’ ROLL MOVIE!
2. FIRST FILM BY DIRECTOR JOHNNY LEGEND!
3. AUDIO COMMENTARY BY DIRECTOR JOHNNY LEGEND
4. MUSICAL PERFOMANCES BY ROCKABILLY LEGENDS TONY COHN, ROLLIN’ COLIN WINSKI, AND JOHNNY LEGEND
Sure, one might argue that Beyond The Valley Of The Dolls was the real “first X-rated rock n’ roll movie”–even though it lacked any donkey-show subplots–but Teenage Cruisers‘ soundtrack, which came out three years after the flick’s release date, is somewhat pedigreed; according to George Gilmarc’s Post Punk Diary, it contained two songs by X’s Billy Zoom, in addition to the acts cited above. (Fun fact: It was originally pressed by Rhino, which is now another WMG subsidiary.) The DVD reissue came out earlier this year on Raunchy Tonk, the video label of its director, Johnny Legend… which is distributed by Ryko. So this was pretty much a business transaction that someone at Page Six got wind of, and now everyone’s all in a tizzy and embarrassed. But why? Shouldn’t the idea of what’s “appropriate” for Ryko to distribute have been ironed out back in 2006, when the company was acquired by WMG?
Anyway, now all of the adult titles Ryko was distributing have been scrubbed from the catalog, and the Page Six folks are gloating. Kind of funny for a paper whose parent company distributes Beyond The Valley Of The Dolls‘ DVD edition to act all priggish about other porny music movies coming out through big corporations, but I suppose Page Six wouldn’t even exist if its “writers” didn’t wear their breathless hypocrisy like a proud badge.