Brooklyn Vegan Commenters Offer Their Expertise On Mixing Drugs, Diversifying Investments

Sure, we’ve had a bit of fun at the expense of the Brooklyn Vegan comment section in the past. But sometimes, the anonymous, indie-loving hordes over there take a break from sardonically flaunting their “insider” status and general awesomeness in favor of actually trying to be helpful. And somehow, the results are even more hilarious than usual!

Today’s topic: The announcement of a Jay Reatard show cancellation in Dallas.

Jay [Reatard] Lindsey did not want to play the show. Why?

He is rich now and likes to remind people of that fact. My favorite quote by him: “You know how much money I have in the bank!” Actually, Yes; $250,000 courtesy of Matador Records. He got paid almost Four times the Dallas guarantee in Austin the night prior. He had been doing coke for 12 hours straight. He had not slept in two days. He left to go buy $55 worth of LSD

What was your reaction to this information? Mine was an indifferent shrug of the shoulders. Brooklyn Vegan’s anonymous masses, however, wanted to dispense advice on two important topics.

1. Drugs, man. Drugs.

55 dollars worth of lsd??? jesus christ he’ll be tripping for a week

can’t you buy a drop of liquid for, like, 5 bucks?

coke and acid is a bad mix.

2. Jay Reatard needs a financial planner stat.

Dude needs a break, a vacation, REHAB and a money man. Keeping $250k in 1 bank account is fucking stupid. FDIC will only cover $50k.

FDIC will cover up to $100K per account. So he needs to split it up into at least 3 accounts.

He needs some Municipal bonds in his portfolio, if only for the obvious benefits of tax diversification.

Oh, Brooklyn, so much to answer for. Still, Reatard should really look into diversifying his bonds. I hear that’s important.

Jay Reatard ditches Dallas show last night [Brooklyn Vegan]