Jonas Brothers Fans Launch Intimidation Campaign Against “Washington Post” Critic

Aug 13th, 2008 // 27 Comments

kjonas.jpgIn the vast, weird universe of Jonas Brothers fandom, there are certain rules. Right up at the top of the list with “Scream ’til your lungs bleed” and “Never trust a Tokio Hotel fan,” there’s “Never let a music critic suggest one Jonas is inferior, as all Jonases are created equal.” Washington Post music critic J. Freedom du Lac found this out the hard way when he angered the J.Bros fanbeast by describing Kevin Jonas as “the other one” in a recent profile of the band. The response was apparently so great that the Post decided to publish a few select e-mails as a sort of peace offering to the shrieking masses.

In a profile of the pop group yesterday, du Lac identified the brothers as ” Nick Jonas (15; the cute one), Joe Jonas (nearly 19; the hot one) and Kevin Jonas (20; the other one).” He also said Kevin “has the misfortune — or, perhaps, the great fortune — of being in a band with two guys who tend to overshadow him.”

These words caused offense in the Jonas community.

The editors have decided that it’s only fair to give the fans their say. Several of the dissenting e-mails are printed below, with unorthodox spelling and punctuation intact.

As for du Lac and his immediate supervisor, they have been chastised severely and ordered to spend the rest of the week reorganizing Bob Woodward’s scrapbook.

It may appear as if they’re using a sarcastic tone, but I sense a true undercurrent of fear, and I don’t blame them. These girls mean business. Take a gander at this message from Victoria:

I and many other people took offense to the article that you wrote about the Jonas Brothers… because MANY people love Kevin, and he doesn’t deserve to be disrespected like that. Just because he doesn’t have millions of 8-year-olds chasing after him, doesn’t mean that he doesn’t have a sincere fan base, because he does. His true fans can see that he is funny, caring, and incredibly sweet.

He’s amazing at the guitar, and if you’ve ever been to any of their concerts, you would know that. He spins around probably about ten times, while still playing. That takes alot of skill. He was the first of them to take up the instrument, and deserves alot of credit for getting the band started.

So don’t assume that just because some of the shallow teenie boppers don’t fall head over heels for him, that there aren’t people who truly care about him.

i hope that you get where i’m going with this, and i’d appreciate it if in the future you could refrain from disrespecting one-third of the most amazing band in the world.

Not bad, Victoria, but the “He spins around probably about ten times, while still playing” argument gives you away as a newb to the glories of rock badassery. Next argument, please.

i am a 13 year old girl. and i cant stand when people talk about other people that i love. so you can see that there is alot of hate for him and ya’ll don’t even care! he could be at collage or doing his own thing now! but by helping his brothers this has turned into a HUGE thing!!! i am going to stop now! becoase i am in tears already ! so i hope you get the picture!

Yes, that’s the old familiar Jonas Brothers fan tone that we all know and love. The last three e-mails interestingly all employ some sort of guilt/shame:

omg. i cant freaking belive the WASHINGTON POST! would write something like that about the amazing, gorgeous, and talented kevin jonas.

i thought you guys would be way higher than all of that crap….

i hope you enjoy all of the hatemail.

how could you be so rude! Kevin Jonas may not be as good looking as Joe and Nick, but if there was no Kevin, there would be no jonas brothers! That’s horrible that anyone would publish something so cruel and mean! It’s not just adults who read the washington post, there’s LOTS of jonas fans too!

You do not have the right to criticize someone you don’t even know! That’s not right. That’s biased. Ever heard the expression “Don’t judge a book by its cover?” That DEFINATELY applies here. I bet if you were forced to spend a day with the Jonas Brothers, or just Kevin, you’d find out he’s one of the sweetest, nicest guys around. So please stop hating on him. I thought only teenagers did that, but you’re a grown man. GROW UP!

“You’re writing below your own standards! We love your paper too, why do you hate us? You’re judgmental and childish!” Man, these ladies are making leaps and bounds of logic. I think eventually it will evolve to the point that all Jonas Brothers detractors will be listed on a registry which will be made available to the public and used to warn communities of their presence. So let J. Freedom du Lac’s mistake be a lesson to us all.

They Love Kevin Jonas! The Pop Critic, Not So Much [Washington Post]
ONE, TWO, THREEEEEEE! [Washington Post]

  1. NeverEnough

    “And the way that Kevin and his kind are mocked in “Tropic Thunder” is TOTALLY F’ED UP!!!1!!!”

  2. Al Shipley

    Do you think Ringo fans ever put anyone in the hospital back in the day?

  3. walkmasterflex

    i bet the editorial staff at the washington post is weeping to realize that people like this even glance at their paper once in a while

  4. Ned Raggett

    @walkmasterflex: Glance at their paper? This was just picked up in some fan’s RSS feed set to look for JoBro stories and then rapidly forwarded around.

  5. Hyperion

    Dear “Freedom” (if that is your real name):

    Kevin is the sweetest, nicest, BEST guitar player ever! I can’t believe you would say something like that! That is totes mean of you! Don’t do it again, K? Or else I will fucking cut you. C ya!

    -xxJonasFan4Lifexx

  6. Jerkwheat

    Look at that hat!

    All he needs is a flowing mane and we’ve got The Edge circa ’87

  7. Chris N.

    “It’s not just adults who read the washington post, there’s LOTS of jonas fans too!”

    I’m going to spend the rest of the day pondering the implications of this.

  8. Anonymous

    I’m a Jonas Brothers fan and at times like these, I kind of hate to admit that! Some fans are so stupid. Okay, of course we all love Kevin and think he’s gorgeous and are going to get upset when somebody says otherwise but seriously, what is up with all the stupid emails? The grammar could be improved along with spelling and capitalization! Also, half of the people who write sound like 5 year olds. They make the rest of the Jonas Brothers fans look bad. Not ALL of us get out of hand like that. I really wish all the 12 year old fans would stop freaking out like that.

    Oh and I’m a Tokio Hotel fan so does that mean I can’t trust myself? Wtf? Okay whatever. I’ve probably made my fair share of grammar mistakes for a Jonas Brothers fan. Enjoy. =)
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  9. Nunya B

    @Ned Raggett: I can’t wait for THIS to be picked up in the same fan’s RSS reader and for the letter-writers to descend on this comments section.

  10. Ned Raggett

    @Nunya B: Hooray!

  11. DocStrange

    I don’t think “Freedom” understands what the word “critic” means. This reminds me of this book I got for Christmas a few years ago which was a compilation of SPIN articles and miscellany and it had a whole section of hate mail devoted to teenagers threatening to sue the magazine for giving a Backstreet Boys album a bad review.

  12. Anonymous

    @Hyperion:

    POST OF THE DAY!!!!!!!!

  13. revmatty

    I always cringe a little (lot) when I see these claims that [current pop flavor of the week] is the BEST BAND EVER and the Beatles/Stones/Zeppelin/[former current pop flavor of the week of your choice] could only ever hope to bask in the glory that is [current pop flavor of the week]. I cringe even more knowing women who are *still* NKOTB fans and *still believe they are the best musicians the world has ever seen*.

    It makes me very stabby.

  14. RaptorAvatar

    I wonder if WaPo omitted the erudite responses to make the fans look stupid or if there are literally that few outrage-prone Jonas Brothers fans who can handle the English language. I will concede, though, that he should have probably been labeled “the scruffy one” since he’s the only one with a developed capacity for scruffiness.

    @revmatty: It depresses me more that, at least by implication, their lives peaked at the age of 11.

  15. raihala

    I’ve had many similar run-ins over the years, and it’s not always teen girls (Barry Manilow fans, for one, are insane). The biggest one was probably back at the height of N Sync mania. My concert review was mostly positive, but poked some fun at the group (nothing too major, though). The next day, as expected, my work e-mail and phone were flooded with messages — but what still sort of surprises me was that some little Nancy Drew in an “I (heart) Justin” T-shirt figured out my home address, home phone number and personal e-mail address and forwarded that info to quite literally hundreds of N Sync crazies around the country. That was a fun week.

  16. Anonymous

    @revmatty: I cringe even more knowing women who are *still* NKOTB fans and *still believe they are the best musicians the world has ever seen*.

    I work with this woman. I was reminiscing about my middle school-age NKOTB obsession and she was all, “Me too! I still have the CDs!” I said I did too, in a box somewhere in my parents’ house. She goes, “Oh no, I have them out in my car right now!”

    So, so sad.

  17. Captain Wrong

    @Al Shipley: Yes, I’m sure they did.

  18. ObtuseIntolerant

    @Ned Raggett: Tsk,no. They are called “Google News Alerts”. If someone sneezes “Jonas” in Singapore, we fans hear about it. Many fans get them, and some who do post them to blogs…and the rest is history. Get with the program please.

    @RaptorAvatar: I sure they omitted. I know a lot of grown up and quite bright Jonas Brothers fans. They don’t act like psychos, normally…in full public view. It’s youth commenter culture…they have no concept of who they are talking to, and how it should be done. It’s unfortunate that there are large swaths of this fanbase that behave and spell this way but…they tend to be the children, so, what can you do? It makes for funs.

    @Nunya B: The posts usually DO come up…but the kids get a little confused by the snark and flee. Reviews and such are much fairer game.

    Maybe because, to be fair, music criticism should perhaps not contain the snarky little (when baseless) swipes which are acceptable on blogs?

  19. spinachdip

    @ObtuseIntolerant: They are called “Google News Alerts”.

    One of the great joys of the late Status Ain’t Hood was when Breihan would write about American Idol and like clockwork, a gaggle of Archuleta fans would descent upon villagevoice.com and talk about his voice, his sweetness, how he’s going to be a big star, etc. And Tom knew what he was doing too, not forgetting to include ””David Archuleta is boring and he sucks and I hate him.””

  20. Tauwan

    @spinachdip:

    I said it once and I’ll say it again:

    “I swear to God man. The Jonas Bros are like David Archuleta when it
    comes to internet chatter. Do a piece on them or simply mention them in
    passing and BAM! Jonas Bros. fans are on it like white on rice, there
    to nod in agreement, disagree with you vehemently [though it can be
    argued that this is the only way people tend to comment on things on
    the internet, so really let's not act too surprised], or correct the
    facts you got wrong. Watch out Mikael, they’re on to you…”

  21. Tauwan

    @pr0FF3ss0r_j3rkwh3at:

    Add some puff to those cheeks [no homo] and he’s also a dead ringer for John Popper, no?

    [Please don't come after me or my blog Jonas Brothers fans. I'm just having a laugh...]

  22. ObtuseIntolerant

    @Ned Raggett: Sorry, didn’t mean to be rude, when I reread your comment and mine, I see that I was. My bad…unfortunate tendency!!

  23. cellardoor

    Are there really varying shades of hotness / talent between these three? Could he not be as Jonas-y because, well, he is 20 and a bit more “mature” and Nesmith-y? Am I turning into my mother?

  24. encyclopediablack

    I’m sure the oldest Hanson brother (Chelsea Clinton doppelganger) probably went through the same thing, only on a much smaller scale since the Internet wasn’t the beast it is today.

  25. Ned Raggett

    @ObtuseIntolerant: They are called “Google News Alerts”.

    I’ve no doubt they are.

  26. Damlyter

    Jonas Brother sexually harassed! – The Unforgivable Adventures of Mr. Solarz

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XStcgHDYuj4

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