Just in case you heard the rumor this weekend that Dolly Parton had died from congestive heart failure, WBIR in Knoxville would like to let you know that Dolly is alive and well, according to her agent, Pete Owens.
Owens believes the rumor that Parton died from congestive heart failure may have started Friday night. Apparently, a local high school announced Parton’s death during its football game. Owens does not know which high school made the unfortunate mistake.
So put away your black mourning fringe and rest easy tonight. Dolly is still alive; her boobs are still huge; all is right with the universe. Let’s celebrate with a classic performance of “I Will Always Love You”!