The New “Queen” Album Seems Like A Really Bad Idea

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Oct. 28 has been set as the release date for what the new album from what they’re calling Queen these days, which features Paul Rodgers as the frontman. Put aside the fact that the disc is entitled The Cosmos Rocks, and the fact that the guy from Bad Company is singing, and you’re still left with more than a few warning signs that this record might amount to one of the worst ideas in popular music history.

There’s not much material out there to preview from The Cosmos Rocks yet, but here are two minutes of the single, “Time to Shine”:

Sure, there’s nothing particularly offensive about that clip, but a Billboard article on Cosmos strikes fear in my heart.

The group has already debuted several of the new songs at shows and on TV, including first single “C-lebrity,” which features vocals from Foo Fighters drummer Taylor Hawkins, and “Say It’s Not True,” written in honor of Nelson Mandela’s 46664 AIDS initiative….

After a pitch-modulated voice exclaims, “What planet is this?” opener “Cosmos Rockin'” blasts in with a handclap-bolstered beat and a peppy blues riff from guitarist Brian May. “Time To Shine” is an atmospheric rocker with an inspirational vocal (“Raise up your mind / It’s time to shine”), while “Still Burning” is a swaggering rocker that nods to Rogers’ tenure in Bad Company and Free.

Elsewhere, “Small” and “We Believe” are acoustic-leaning power ballads, “Call Me” conjures the multi-tracked operatic singing that was Queen’s Mercury-era trademark and the stomping “Surf’s Up … School’s Out!” closes the proceedings on an arena-rocking note.

Something I don’t particularly want to hear about a classic rock album is that it features “a pitch-modulated voice” or a track called “Surf’s Up … School’s Out!” It takes a bit of cognitive dissonance to accept that Brian Wilson is still writing songs about teenagers and surfing, but at very least, he’s from California. Paul Rodgers is nearing 60 and from Middlesbrough. The premise just doesn’t seem plausible, unless they’re talking about surfing the internet, which might be even worse. Also, a track called “C-lebrity”, with vocals from Taylor Hawkins? Why? That’s all I want to know. Why?

Still, if you hate yourself, and whatever legacy Queen have remaining, feel free to head to whatever store you buy your albums at come late October.

Queen Makes Date For ‘The Cosmos Rocks’ [Billboard]