Clay Aiken Comes Out Of The Closet: Nation’s Craft Stores Prepare For Lower Aiken-Related Revenues

Sep 24th, 2008 // 12 Comments

The new issue of People hits newsstands tomorrow, and on its cover is a story that’s half-blockbuster, half-not all that surprising: American Idol runner-up and Manilow-mirroring crooner Clay Aiken is gay, and he’s finally come out of the closet (after years of telling inquiring interviewers that their questioning of his sexuality was “really rude”) because he wants to set a good example–in the not lying about things sense, above all–for his newborn son, Parker. While I’m happy that Aiken has gone public with his sexuality, admire his devotion to his child, and wish him (and his son) all the best, I have to wonder just what is happening in the universe of Claymates right now. Are they freaking out? How many Blingee .sig files have been created in honor of this milestone? Have they decided that if they love Aiken as much as they profess to, they should set him free from their personal PG-13-rated fantasies and let him live his life? Are they going to land here via Google searches and engage in some angry comment-section defense in a matter of minutes? And, most importantly, are they adjusting their skin-crawlingly inappropriate Clay-inspired crafting in light of this news?

For those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about, a few examples:

Oh, those poor ovaries. I guess dong quai won’t have quite the same effect.

Clay Aiken to reveal he is gay [Reuters]

  1. Anonymous

    I’m a huge fan — so glad he finally came out! I don’t have a problem with him being gay. I have lots of gay friends. I still love his voice and will purchase all his CDs.

  2. KrAzy Che3To

    How can you have a picture of you with your kid and right next to it say “YES, I’M GAY” It’s only going to make people say “WTF” about gays even more than they already do.

  3. twenty-four hour priapism

    @KrAzy Che3To: Because he’s gay. And has a kid. And is on the cover of ‘People’ magazine. What’s not to understand?

  4. Anonymous

    soooooooo manyyyyyyyyyy wayyyyyyyyyys to be inappropriate here!!!

  5. revmatty

    If said people are under the mistaken impression (highly likely) that gay people are infertile, then yes this might cause them some confusion and consternation. People with more two functioning brain cells to rub together, however, will be just fine.

  6. MrStarhead

    @Chris Molanphy: Actually, they did reveal that he’s using a surrogate mother, right?

  7. too bad he's been hiding in a closet for so many years, and now this? :D

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