“Chinese Democracy” May Arrive Just In Time To Soundtrack Your Family’s Thanksgiving

AP06063002126.jpgThe latest suite of rumors about Guns N’ Roses’ forever-in-the-making Chinese Democracy involves a late-November release date, Best Buy exclusivity, surreptitious recording of some new tracks via “PDA phones” at a convention attended by employees of the big-box store, and even some news involving Leonardo DiCaprio. The full scoop, courtesy of someone’s best friend’s sister’s boyfriend’s brother’s girlfriend who heard from this guy who knows this kid who’s going with the girl who went to the Best Buy employee convention, after the jump.

My nephew is an employee at Best Buy. He is currently in Dallas for a big vendor convention. I was talking with him through AIM when I heard some pretty crazy news. Here are the details…

- 900 Best Buy employees were invited to listen to some new Guns N’ Roses tracks.
- My nephew met with an English man in his 50′s – dark hair, slicked back, dark skinned guy – said he was one of the band’s managers.
- The “manager guy” then presented 3 new tracks from the forthcoming “Chinese Democracy” album – which he said “should be” released around Thanksgiving.
- The album is also to be released as a “Best Buy exclusive” – deal was finished in the last 48 hours.
- He also said that the Best Buy employees were the first to hear these songs outside of the label.
- The three songs were not named by the manager.
- Their manager said that there are to be 15 tracks on the album.

Ok, now some more details. Someone decided to record these songs on their PDA phone – and I’ve listened to them. The songs are as follows (in order they were played)…

1. Chinese Democracy
2. If the World
3. There Was a Time

First of all, my nephew said that everyone loved the songs, even though they were played on a crappy convention hall sound system. He’s not a huge Guns fan like I am – as a matter of fact he’s not even really into their old stuff – but he REALLY dug these new songs. He said Axl’s voice sounds like another guitar track! The manager introduced “If the World” as a song to be played during the credits of a new Leo Dicaprio and Russell Crowe flick called “Body of Lies”. He introduced “There Was a Time” as Axl’s favorite. My nephew said this song was everyone else’s favorite as well.

Of course, these “PDA phone”-recorded songs haven’t seen the light of day yet, although I’m sure people are offering barber3121 big bucks for the scratchy recordings. More importantly, though, are the existential consequences of Chinese Democracy actually coming out as threatened. I’m seriously starting to worry. What will we have left to wait for in the world? What’s next? Should I just add a stroke to my “signs of the apocalypse” tally, which is already getting kind of full as it is? I’m really worried, you guys.

Best Buy, Thanksgiving, and Chinese Democracy… [NewGNR.com via RS]

  • asleeponthefloor

    that ferris bueller reminder was exactly what i needed today. thank you.

  • Lax Danja House

    “my nephew said that everyone loved the songs”

    this is probably the part where everyone should call bullshit

  • okiedoke

    As part of the Wall Street bailout program, every mortgage holder currently in default will be sent the Chinese Democracy CD.

  • doublewhiskycokenoice

    ‘Cause nothin’ lasts forever
    And we both know Axl’s heart can change
    And Best Buy’s gonna hold the candle
    In the cold November raaaaaain

  • breedavies

    A) Who shops at Best Buy? For music?

    B) Who gives a shit about Guns N’ Roses anymore? I wish they (along with the Smashing Pumpkins) would have shut it down a decade and a half ago and preserved their awesome legacies instead of dragging fans through the mud.

  • Anonymous

    we can always let MBV’s Loveless follow-up be the record we endlessly wait over.

  • revmatty

    “he’s not even really a fan of their old stuff”

    As opposed to their even older stuff?

  • Jfrankparnell

    I only hope Tommy Stinson cashed his check immediately upon exiting the studio.