“Chinese Democracy” May Arrive Just In Time To Soundtrack Your Family’s Thanksgiving
The latest suite of rumors about Guns N’ Roses’ forever-in-the-making Chinese Democracy involves a late-November release date, Best Buy exclusivity, surreptitious recording of some new tracks via “PDA phones” at a convention attended by employees of the big-box store, and even some news involving Leonardo DiCaprio. The full scoop, courtesy of someone’s best friend’s sister’s boyfriend’s brother’s girlfriend who heard from this guy who knows this kid who’s going with the girl who went to the Best Buy employee convention, after the jump.
My nephew is an employee at Best Buy. He is currently in Dallas for a big vendor convention. I was talking with him through AIM when I heard some pretty crazy news. Here are the details…
– 900 Best Buy employees were invited to listen to some new Guns N’ Roses tracks. – My nephew met with an English man in his 50’s – dark hair, slicked back, dark skinned guy – said he was one of the band’s managers. – The “manager guy” then presented 3 new tracks from the forthcoming “Chinese Democracy” album – which he said “should be” released around Thanksgiving. – The album is also to be released as a “Best Buy exclusive” – deal was finished in the last 48 hours. – He also said that the Best Buy employees were the first to hear these songs outside of the label. – The three songs were not named by the manager. – Their manager said that there are to be 15 tracks on the album.
Ok, now some more details. Someone decided to record these songs on their PDA phone – and I’ve listened to them. The songs are as follows (in order they were played)…
1. Chinese Democracy 2. If the World 3. There Was a Time
First of all, my nephew said that everyone loved the songs, even though they were played on a crappy convention hall sound system. He’s not a huge Guns fan like I am – as a matter of fact he’s not even really into their old stuff – but he REALLY dug these new songs. He said Axl’s voice sounds like another guitar track! The manager introduced “If the World” as a song to be played during the credits of a new Leo Dicaprio and Russell Crowe flick called “Body of Lies”. He introduced “There Was a Time” as Axl’s favorite. My nephew said this song was everyone else’s favorite as well.
Of course, these “PDA phone”-recorded songs haven’t seen the light of day yet, although I’m sure people are offering barber3121 big bucks for the scratchy recordings. More importantly, though, are the existential consequences of Chinese Democracy actually coming out as threatened. I’m seriously starting to worry. What will we have left to wait for in the world? What’s next? Should I just add a stroke to my “signs of the apocalypse” tally, which is already getting kind of full as it is? I’m really worried, you guys.