Mark Wahlberg Dreams Of A World Where His Children Can Live Funky Bunch-Free
Former unrepentant Lou Reed sampler Mark Wahlberg said recently that he has absolutely no interest in returning to music, and that he wants to hide his pants-dropping past from his kids, who were born in the post-Funky Bunch era. Lying to your children as a way to protect them might seem like an odd parenting technique, but a quick review of Marky Mark’s YouTube catalog confirms that this is indeed the correct child-rearing strategy.
When you think about Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch you think tighty-whities, and you probably forget about how truly awful his music was:
This is like a hip-hop song with a lobotomy. There’s a decent sample and an ostensible political message, but it lacks a truly effective hook and substantial lyrical content (Mark Wahlberg periodically saying the word “Money!” doesn’t count).
“Life in the Streets” featuring Prince Ital Joe
“I’ll cut your throat for your goose down coat”
And, last but not least, the Marky Mark pièce de résistance:
Awkwardly dropping your pants and then just standing there is bad enough, but he really put the nail in the coffin when he decided to run around the court with his pants around his ankles like a confused toddler.
Wahlberg probably feels like he’ll never live down the Funky Bunch, and as long as YouTube exists he never will.