Major Label May Just Be Desperate Enough To Sign Joe The Plumber

Oct 30th, 2008 // 18 Comments

Inexplicable symbol-with-legs Samuel Wurzelbacher–known to the news media as “Joe The Plumber,” even though his name isn’t Joe–has decided to go all Hollywood, presumably because he isn’t licensed to perform plumbing operations in his home city and probably never will be after all the antics he’s engaged in since being thrust into the national spotlight. He’s signed with a Nashville-based PR firm to “create new media opportunities,” and one of the ideas knocking around their office is–wait for it–Joe maybe signing with a major label’s Nashville arm. Even though he can’t really write songs. America: Land of opportunity, especially if you have a “strong political point of view”!

Might I suggest a cover of Weezer’s “Pork And Beans” for your first single, Joe? Not only can you rework the lyrics so they’re all about getting the pork out of Washington, your quickly ticking 15 minutes of fame are not unlike those enjoyed by the other stars of the video.

You’re totally the Tay Zonday of the Republican Party! Except maybe you should get really good at an instrument, since your only skills at this point seem to be shooting your mouth off about Israel and getting replaced by another guy who can be reduced to his name and his occupation.

Joe The Plumber pursued for record deal [Politico via Gawker]


  1. Anonymous

    Holy shit.

  2. Audif Jackson Winters III

    He isn’t already a member of Drive-By Truckers?

    Remind me never to ask anybody in the Obama administration any questions, by the way. Somebody in parking enforcement will make a “routine” check to see if I have any unpaid tickets.

  3. Anonymous

    @Audif Jackson Winters III: maybe you should pay your parking tickets like a responsible adult.

  4. mike a

    @Audif Jackson Winters III: It didn’t reflect well on Obama’s supporters when they started going through Joe’s personal records for the apparent offense of asking a question. But, uh, Joe, signing to a PR firm undercuts my sympathy about the media ruining your life.

  5. Audif Jackson Winters III

    @mike a: Well, sure. Still creepy that people have that impulse these days.

    @tim_loves_cats: Thanks for the advice. What’s your take on whether I should floss daily?

  6. Anonymous

    “Even though he can’t really write songs.”

    You’re assuming, of course, that any of today’s country artists actually write their own songs these days…isn’t that what the robo-creative units they keep locked away in the back rooms on Music Row are for?

    Of course, with the proliferation of Pro Tools and other technologically-advanced studio tools, it is no longer even necessary for a country artist in Nashville to be able to actually sing a song…they just need a pair of tight jeans, a vaguely cowboy-looking hat, or a rack like a Lower Broadway stripper.

    Really, nothing’s been the same since Steve Earle left town….

  7. Chris N.

    You forgot to mention that he’s a “complicated guy with a very dynamic personality.”

  8. Audif Jackson Winters III

    The other point I don’t really get is the “his name isn’t really Joe”. I don’t know whether he actually goes by that name in his real life or not, but do people really not know folks who are commonly referred to by their middle name?

  9. Anonymous

    Plenty of people I know go by there middle names (my friend Ryan is actually Albert Ryan, my friend Kathleen is actually Mary Kathleen, my nephew Peter is actually Josh Peter) … it’s incredibly stupid to repeat “… Joe the plumber, who’s NOT REALLY A JOE!” Besides, what does it matter what name he’s known by? Does “Joe the Plumber” give his question more or less credibility than if he were “Sam the Plumber,” “Jeff the Plumber,” or “Tito the Plumber”?

    And my understanding is that he doesn’t need a license to do the type of work he’s been doing. I’m an unlicensed engineer and yet I work for an international nuclear engineering company. If I go by “Vince the Engineer” are people going to report that I had a late fee on a loan payment, got a couple of speeding tickets, and am “NOT REALLY AN ENGINEER AND VINCE IS ONLY HIS MIDDLE NAME!!!”

    All that said, I do agree that JTP being a music star is a bit silly.

  10. Signal to Noise

    Topping 2009′s country charts: “Take Your Tax Cut And Shove It.”

  11. Signal to Noise

    I’ve already got a chorus for him and am working on the verses: “Take Your So-Called Middle Class Tax Cut And Shove It.”

  12. Signal to Noise

    @Signal to Noise: apologies for the double post.

  13. Maura Johnston

    @Signal to Noise: there’s never a bad reason to post this:

  14. rajmahall

    Joe the Plumber Stands McCain Up at Rally.

    More like Joe the American Hero!

  15. Maura Johnston

    @rajmahall: “Contacted by CNN a second time, Wurzelbacher said the campaign only called him to confirm after the event in question already took place. He will now try to meet up with McCain later in the day.

    Wurzelbacher also said he had gotten an initial call about coming to the morning rally, “but no one called back to confirm,” and was “not happy” that McCain had called out his name and he wasn’t there.”

    looks like someone needs to hire an intern!

  16. Signal to Noise

    @Maura Johnston: damn straight.

  17. mike a

    @Maura Johnston: Joe The Diva.

    Is this guy a Wack Pack member yet? I don’t get Sirius.

  18. Captain Wrong

    @Audif Jackson Winters III: Could be wrong, but I don’t think it was Obama’s people who dug up dirt on Joe. I’m pretty sure it was media folk. Could be wrong about that, haven’t followed that closely.

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