The World Music Awards: What?

Nov 10th, 2008 // 9 Comments

The Monaco-based racket of nebulous music honors known as the World Music Awards gave out its 2008 slate of prizes over the weekend. I thought that actually seeing the list of winners would make me a bit clearer on the purpose of the show, but I was gravely mistaken. What can you say about a ceremony that’s marked by the following oddities: Norway getting its own award in its honor, while Sweden is ignored; the R & B category is split into “Best R & B Act” and “Best R & B Male”; and Kid Rock apparently is such a crossover smash, he’s able to nab the “Best Pop Male” and “Best Pop/Rock Male” awards. And that doesn’t even get into the World Music Awards-certified notion that Akon is the Internet’s biggest musician. God help us all, right? Full list of winners after the jump, in case you want to try and make sense of things.



Diamond Award: Ringo Starr
Outstanding Contribution To The Arts: Beyonce
(AKA the “we made this up so she would show up” award.)
Special Achievement Award: Mariah Carey
Outstanding Contribution To The Music Industry: LA Reid
World’s Best-Selling Recording Act: Coldplay
Best Pop Female: Leona Lewis
Best Pop Male: Kid Rock
(I have to break here to let you know that Michael Jackson was up for this award. Seriously.)
Best Pop/Rock Female: Amy Winehouse
Best Pop/Rock Male: Kid Rock
Best Rock Act: Coldplay
Best R & B Artist: Alicia Keys
Best R & B Male: Chris Brown
(Their distinction. I swear.)
Best New R & B Artist: Estelle
Best New Artist: Leona Lewis
Best Hip-Hop/Rap Artist: Lil Wayne
Best DJ: Laurent Wolf
Biggest Internet Artist: Akon
(So much to answer for, Internet.)
Latin: Enrique Iglesias
Africa: Akon
America: Madonna
Australia: Delta Goodrem
Benelux: Kate Ryan
Canada: Celine Dion
China: Jay Chou
France: Christophe Mae
Germany: Die Artze
(Not Tokio Hotel?!)
Great Britain: Coldplay
Ireland: The Script
Italy: Jovanotti
Japan: The Exile
Middle East: Nancy Ajram
Nigeria: Tuface
Norway: Madcon
Russia: Philipp Kirkorov
Spain: Enrique Iglesias

A quick spin through the wire photos from the event shows that, yes, most of the people who were nabbed awards were in attendance. Except Coldplay, perhaps because they know that in these times, the conservationist approach is key when it comes to Ridiculously Nebulous Promotional Expenses.

World Music Awards 2008 [Official site]

  1. Michaelangelo Matos

    Africa: Akon

    (dies laughing)

  2. the rich girls are weeping

    If nothing else, this is a great excuse to hunt down YouTube videos from all the unknown-outside-of-their-home-country artists that who prove that terrible pop music has no borders. The delicious hideousness of Kate Ryan! The oh-so-serious hilarity of Die Arzte! The untenable pablum of The Script and Jovanotti and Christophe Mae and Jae Chou. I can’t even find anything to say about Tuface other than … oh my! Philipp Kirkorov’s HAIR FREAKS ME OUT.

    Nancy Arjam is kind of rad, though.

  3. februarymakeup

    You know, I just spent a few minutes trying to think of a funny, Benelux-themed joke.

    And then I realized that the World Music Awards just made one.

    Thank you, and goodnight.

  4. Tauwan

    Please tell me I am not the only person that looked at Beyonce’s picture up top and heard a “Ooh, guurrrll…” in their head? I mean seriously, the sweatsuit looking top, that hair. I love you girl, but that is a late 80′s/early 90′s ‘hey let’s put on some Tiffany or Debbie Gibson’ look you got going there. That or it takes its cue from every “love interest” found in old New Edition and Another Bad Creation videos.

  5. Maura Johnston

    @Tauwan: DO NOT QUESTION SASHA FIERCE OR SHE’LL CUT YOU WITH HER KRUGERHAND

  6. Tauwan

    @Maura Johnston:

    And then tell me to PUT A RING ON IT!

  7. MrStarhead

    When did Beyonce get a Luke Skywalker-style robot hand?

  8. bcapirigi

    I thought the world music awards were just sales-based? At least that would explain Madcon and The Script getting awards (though not why Lady GaGa didn’t get one for something.)

  9. ObtuseIntolerant

    Hooray for Jovanotti!! He really is one of the best. Ever. Love.

Leave A Comment