2008′s (Novelty) Album Of The Year, Metal Division

Dec 5th, 2008 // 4 Comments

It probably doesn’t help to beat myself up over these things, but I’m not proud to admit that it took me 136 days for me to realize the brilliance (or, at least, novelty-entertainment value) of Austrian Death Machine‘s Total Brutal.

The premise of the album is nearly enough to sell you on its value: Metal album of songs based on themes from Arnold Schwarzenegger films, sung by an impersonator of the, uh, Governator. Feel free to take a break from the post to go ahead and purchase a copy. I wouldn’t blame you.

“It’s Not A Tumor”:

It’s on Metal Blade, it involves the singer from As I Lay Dying, and it’s a novelty metal disc. Where have I been? I’m so ashamed.

“Who Is Your Daddy And What Does He Do?”:

All credit in this case must go to Cosmo Lee, a writer for Pitchfork and Decibel who gave his top ten list to Brandon Stosuy as part of his Show No Mercy year end wrap-up. Thank you, Cosmo Lee, wherever you are. Who says that year-end lists are a waste of time now?

Austrian Death Machine [MySpace]

  1. Ted Striker

    I think it’s safe to say that they’ve recorded the definitive version of “Rubber Baby Buggy Bumpers”.

  2. Richaod

    Have you heard of ArnoCorps? Not only did they do it first (album in 2005, EP and gigs before that), but they do it better.


  3. doublewhiskycokenoice

    but does it top the International Superheroes of Hardcore?

  4. Chuck Eddy

    I didn’t think it was so great, myself:


    San Diego, again. And judging from the CD cover, the real Austrian Death Machine is their Governator. Total Brutal, on which they projectile-vomit oafishly over thrashing hop-scotch mosh, invaded the Billboard 200 at No. 179 and Heatseekers at No. 7 last week (and slipped just one Heatseeker spot this week), despite being awarded only 3 points out of 10 in the new issue of Decibel. So yeah, a joke concept: MySpace bio raves about “cliché vocals that sound really angry,” then asserts the following: “I’ve heard plenty of metal bands steal lyrics from angry fourth graders that hate going to church or don’t want to clean their rooms. Now it’s time to steal lyrics from the great minds of Hollywood screen writers that at least made it to sixth grade. Don’t miss listening to the hit track ‘Rubber Baby Buggy Bumpers.’” It goes on to explain that the band is indeed a tribute to “Ahhnold”, who they pretend is their frontman. More titles: “If It Bleeds We Can Kill It,” “Come With Me If You Want To Live,” etc. Might even be halfway amusing if they’d thought to growl it in an Aryan accent.]

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