Cher’s Ringlets Wish You A Merry Christmas
From the same special, this 70sization of Jingle Bells is pretty jamming, and it comes complete with an “R”s as “W”s solo section from Chastity wherein she looks like she’s either about to cry or take a big poop. Cher’s tight-as-hell braids are out of control. Those things look like bullwhips!
Bernadette Peters, Captain Kangaroo, and Chastity (why is she still singing?) show up to help out with “Christmas Rock N Roll”. Bernadette wrestles with Ms. Melisma and loses. Captain Kangaroo sounds like Johnny Cash.
Pure insanity. Santa (as played by William Conrad) looks drunk and dirty. I need a shower.
William Conrad tells a story. Chastity seems genuinely interested.
Man, do I miss variety shows! Can we give Rosie one more chance? Wait. No.