A Few Sorta-Punny Headlines For That “Jon Bon Jovi To Sing For A Hillary Fundraiser” Story

Jan 5th, 2009 // 10 Comments

“Jon Bon Jovi May Send Hillary’s Campaign Out In A Blaze Of Glory”
“Hillary Asks Jon Bon Jovi To Be Her Knight On A Steel Horse”
“Jon Bon Jovi To Hillary: ‘I Was Made To Be Your (Money) Man’”
“Bon Jovi Will Help Hillary ‘Runaway’ From The Campaign Trail”
“Jon And Hillary: The Tommy & Gina Of 2008 Presidential Politics?”

Surely you can come up with better ones? Bonus points if you can figure out a way to use that line about losing “more than that in my backseat” line from “Never Say Goodbye.” [AP]


  1. Maura Johnston

    things i learned while researching this post: max martin has a co-writing credit on ‘it’s my life,’ even though it’s pretty much ‘livin’ on a prayer iii.’

  2. cockfightbarmitzvah

    “Hillary Asks Jon Bon Jovi: See My $6.3 Million Faces And Rock Them All”

  3. Chris N.

    “In and Out of Debt”

  4. Chris Molanphy

    @Maura Johnston: …and Martin ripped himself off when he cowrote “U + Ur Hand” for Pink. Roughly the same melody/chord progression.

    Shows how much I dislike Mr. Jovi that I like “Hand” a lot and can’t stand “Life,” even though it came first.

  5. Audif Jackson Winters III

    “Bon Jovi to Hill: Your Debt Is Like Bad Medicine.”

  6. bcapirigi

    Jon Bon Jovi Wants Hillary To Be Just As Close As The Holy Ghost Is (When He Lays Her Campaign Finance Debt Down On A Bed Of Roses.)

    Which is sorta wordy, I guess.

  7. bcapirigi

    Till She’s Six Feet Under, Baby, Clinton Don’t Need No Debt.

    it’s harder than I thought…

  8. Adairdevil

    “It’s Midnight with Chelsea’s Mom As Bon Jovi Rocks into the Night for Hillary”

    I can’t believe I remember “Midnight in Chelsea’s” existence. I’m kind of angry about it.

    Also, I marvel at “It’s My Life” for being made entirely of cliches: it’s my life, now or never, ain’t gonna live forever, life’s highway, and then a nod to Sinatra: “like Frankie said I did it my way”. I don’t expect poetry, but that is LAZY.

  9. Audif Jackson Winters III

    Holy shit, we were all trumped by Yahoo! Music:


  10. 120.000 DOLLARS WORTH OF DEBT!!!??? wtf is this girl doing while studying? Living lavish? lol… when i got my J.D. 5 years back i was spending as little money as possible, and studied as much as possible… otherwise I wouldn’t have made it

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