Sometimes I wonder if I’m not living in a Bizarro World where one day everyone is going to jump out of my TV and yell “Surprise!” and everything will be fine and we will all drink hot toddies and laugh about the joke that was life in the ’00s, particularly that one show about midgets and tall people dating and the other show about the plastic surgery beauty pageant and that one band from Florida with the guy with the black eyes that was sooo stupid and yeah everything is going to be fine. Yep, everything’s going to be just fine.
Except it’s not going to get better. That’s a lie. Maura went and sent this video to me, slapping me in my run-on sentence-loving face with a hard dose of non-Bizarro World reality. See, every single thing about this promo for T.I.’s new show, Road to Redemption, makes my nose hairs cry, my ears pee on themselves, and my eyeballs vomit, from the ominous Eyes Wide Shut opening music to the stentorian movie-like taglines: “What would you do… if you had one chance at redemption.”
I thought T.I. put out some of the better singles of last year, but turning his community service for a fairly serious crime into a reality show is unconscionable, if not unexpected. I gather from this promo that he is going to help seven at-risk youth through the kinda-discredited methods of Scared Straight!, showing them dead bodies of “hustlers” and stuff. And he must do this while balancing a (gasp) 11 p.m. curfew! Get outta here. In high school, I balanced bottle rocket fights, marching band, Scholars Bowl, Interact Club, homework, and much more with a much more oppressive curfew. I’m sure T.I. can manage.
T.I. – Road To Redemption (Preview) [YouTube]