This Week’s Top 12: You Can Probably Ballpark No. 1

Jan 23rd, 2009 // 10 Comments

This week’s top 12, from Tuesday’s Obamarama to the prospect of Lil Wayne throwing a turkey to the idea that maybe music writing can be saved through the power of Britney Spears’ philanthropy, after the jump.

1. Tuesday. I got the chills, even though my heat was turned all the way up. Also: it allowed me to revisit this. And finally: Can we just take a moment to appreciate the majesty of Aretha Franklin’s hat? OK, thanks.

2. The Vistoso Bosses, “Delirious.” Any other week, this would have been No. 1. But this wasn’t just any week, etc.

3. The prospect of Britney Spears hiring an army of ghostwriters to pen her autobiography, thus keeping at least a few music journalists employed for a while. OK, this is something of a pipe dream. But I like to think of it as a philanthropic fantasy! Brit Brit is apparently getting around $14 million to “write” her autobiography, which will be scattered over three to five books. She could even employ multiple writers—one for each chapter, even? Why not? Dream big!

4. The prospect of seeing Lauren Graham as Adelaide in Guys & Dolls. One of my favorite musicals gets one of my favorite modern comedic actresses in its juiciest part. Sure, there’s the question of whether or not she can sing, but I have little doubt that she’ll be able to pull off “Bushel And A Peck” 100% convincingly.

5. “YOOOO WHY WON’T YOU LET ME BE GREAT!!!”

6. The top three singles in this year’s Pazz & Jop Poll. I fully admit that “Single Ladies” is pretty regressive as far as its gender politics go, but that’s what making up your own lyrics in the heat of the dance is for. (C’mon, there has to be a great song about the wondrousness of adorable puppies that can be an exact match, meter-wise.)

7. That new U2 song. It’s evolution, baby!

8. This picture of Lil Wayne holding a bowling ball, which may make me actually tune into Katie Couric’s I’m Becoming The Baba Wawa Of CBS Grammy Special:



Made me think he could be The Dude in a Lebowski remake. I’m just saying.

9. Lily Allen’s Radio 1 fill-in stint. She played her songs, she played new Ms. Dynamite, she got sorta salty about Katy Perry… all while giving a hosting performance that should make her want to eventually become some country’s favorite game show host, albeit one with a sidekick who has a strong Wankiness Detector.

10. We’re one week closer to the end of this season’s American Idol audition episodes. Although the way this year’s first four episodes have seemed like the producers waving the “sorry, we’re out of good contestants!” white flag makes me nervous as to how many Ramiele Malubays and Robbie Carricos this year’s semifinalist crop will bring forth.

11. On the Internet, nobody knows if you’re an actor trying to put one over on everyone with an attempt at a hip-hop career. Something I never thought of: You guys, what if that Joaquin Phoenix MySpace is a fake? I mean, just look at what happened to Kanye! Yoooo!

12. Learning about the story behind Steam’s “Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye.” For pretty much any reason you can think of.

  1. Anonymous

    In re: #6: the occasional “which puppy’s cutest?” banner should provide some inspiration for the song you desire. (I’d chose the beagle.)

    In re: #1: Thankfully she had to cover her shoulders, which she normally forgets to do. (Shoulders being the PG euphemism in play.)

  2. T'Challa

    @Maura:

    Re: Aretha’s hat. Detroit represent!

    [www.freep.com]

  3. T'Challa

    @Maura:

    Re: Aretha’s hat. Detroit represent!

    [www.freep.com]

  4. bcapirigi

    In case you were wondering why Aretha Franklin was wearing that hat, my local newspaper wrote an article about black people and how they love to wear hats.

    [newsblog.projo.com]

  5. Guy_Whitey_Corngood

    the hat is the first time i’ve seen aretha perform somewhere and not be transfixed by her intercontinental ballistic missile bazongas.

    really though, that hat should be behind glass in the smithsonian.

  6. A Roach

    What about Animal Collective being inaugurated as co-presidents of everything?

  7. Maura Johnston

    @A Roach: No.

  8. Anonymous

    I really enjoyed Lily’s Radio-1 sting, and I hope some of the songs on the new album are decent. As for Lauren Graham, I’m kind of nervous to see how this one plays out, but it’s nice to see her doing something awesome again.

  9. Anonymous

    I really enjoyed Lily’s Radio-1 gig, and I hope some of the songs on her album are decent. As for Lauren Graham, I’m nervous as to how G&D will turn out, but I’m glad she’s out there being awesome again.

  10. ObtuseIntolerant

    The commenters on ONTD are putting Aretha’s hat on anything and everything, for their avatars (whatever they like…on Robert Pattinson, puppies, Miley Cyrus and so forth). Sometimes the kids (they are all kids on there right?..ugh I hope so) can be truly hilarious cultural observers.

    Also, let’s all admit how lost we’d be without Kanye’s ego. Love it, love him.

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