“American Idol” Has Big Love For The Beehive State (And Bunnies)

On this episode of American Idol: Everyone in Salt Lake City is (possibly maybe a little too) happy! And I am too, for this is the second-to-last of the city-specific audition episodes that we as a nation have to suffer through. Share in my joy after the jump!

THE HAPPIEST STATE IN THE WHOLE U.S.A.: Yes, Salt Lake City was a happy place, with R.E.M.’s “Shiny Happy People” airing underneath the opening scenes of grinning Utes and a guy dressed as a bunny and lots of polite responses to rejection and lots of pearly white teeth and an overall vibe that Randy Jackson referred to as “this whole salt of lake.” (Um.) Even the requisite people crying and saying they believed in themselves montage didn’t dim the overall mood!

IF IT’S UTAH, THERE MUST BE… David Osmond, son of eldest Osmond Adam, sang in a barbershop quartet as a kid and, like his now-retired father, is struggling with multiple sclerosis; his pre-audition package was full of tears and hugging, and despite the judges’ resistance to his song choice (“Something Within Me” by “contemporary Christian a capella” outfit Take 6, which was deemed too designed for a group setting) and his style (Kara DioGuardi thought his reliance on runs obscured his true personality), he made it through. Because he’s an Osmond!

THINKING ABOUT A HOT TOPIC “Is this a character, or is this who you are?” Ryan Seacrest asked Tara Matthews, a corset-and-fishnets-clad redhead who claimed to have ESP and was touted as the only Goth in Utah. (FYI: This is probably not true.) At least her sixth sense helped her realize that exiting with the always-awesome middle-finger salute for the cameras would get her some extra airtime.

PLUSHIES UNITE: So the bunny who showed up to give everyone a hug wasn’t even singing—he was serving as the support act for Chris Kirkham, who also had a Simon’s-head-on-a-popsicle-stick sign in tow. Which matched his shirt. People, people. Can’t you realize that you need just one gimmick in order to stick out? Any more than that, and you’re just opening yourself up to more ways to be made fun of.

THINGS I WOULDN’T WISH ON ANYONE: “Have we found the next Amy Winehouse?” Ryan’s voiceover asked of Frankie Jordan, who, to be fair to him, did audition with “You Know I’m No Good.” And smiled through her whole audition, which sort of renders Ryan’s query moot. Here’s hoping she doesn’t try to get into the spirit of things to by indulging in Winehouse’s vices. (She has a kid!) Anyway, Frankie and the singer who followed her, Meghan Corkrey, were both in the “single mom with husky voices” mold, although since Meghan was flaunting a nearly entire sleeve of tattoos, she does have something of an edge in the Winehouse department. Since they represented 15.3% of the people who made it through to Hollywood from this round of auditions, we’ll see more of them over the coming weeks! Or maybe not, since they do have to fight for face time with Bikini Girl.

TIME, LOVE, AND GREASY KIDS’ STUFF: Austin Sisneros, a 17-year-old class president, auditioned with a sorta Michael Bolton-y take on a track by Train, but he won the judges over with a still-sorta-Boltonish version of “It Takes A Village” by Raffi because honestly, how can you turn down a Raffi song? Even though the kid sounded like a 41-year-old dude with a flowing mullet, it would still be like taking candy from a… oh, well, you know.

GET READY FOR “SHE’S ONLY [SOMETHING]TEEN” TO COME BACK IN FULL FORCE: The show closed out with two teenagers, 16-year-old Taylor Vaifanua (she’s tall!) and 17-year-old Rose Flack (she’s been through a lot more than just being tall!). Taylor sang the old hymn “Joyful Joyful We Adore Thee” in a sorta-generic way that probably sounded nice every time she tried it out in church; Rose performed “I Feel The Earth Move” without moving her jaw all that much. They both made it through, unsurprisingly.

REVEALING DIOGUARDISM OF THE NIGHT: The Utahan brightness rubbed off on the newest judge, who only got slightly bitchy when she said backstage that she could see “two or three” of the 13 people who made it through as the eventual victors. I, personally, was expecting her to at least be a little harsh on the dude who totally overenunicated his way through “Put Your Records On,” who inexplicably was given a golden ticket. Maybe the producers realized they hadn’t spent enough money on metronomes?

Tonight: The producers try to smoosh the New York auditions together with the sparsely attended tryouts in San Juan, and people throw themselves into windows, steel doors, and homemade iPod costumes!

American Idol [Official site] [Pic via Rickey]