Terrible Songwriters Decide To Cash In On The Recession

Feb 6th, 2009 // 2 Comments

Today’s Wall Street Journal takes a look at a clutch of musicians who have decided to get notoriety—if not cash—by writing songs about the recession, although I’m guessing that the Journal didn’t want to do the songwriters in question any favors. Why? Because the paper took the time to print the awful lyrics these people have come up with in order to suck up the YouTube hits from people looking for “bailout” or “Fannie Mae.” Seriously, the lyrical stylings exhibited after the jump made me appreciate “Weird Al” Yankovic’s recession-ready remake of T.I.’s “Whatever You Like” a lot more.



“I Want My Bailout Money,” a hip-hop song by the natural-foods writer Michael Adams:

The internal rhyme of “nation” and “hyperinflation” here is a deft touch, but the guy sounds like he’s about to bust into Porky Pig’s “Th-th-th-that’s all folks!” at any moment.

“Fannie Mae eat Freddie Mac and Cheese,” by Talya and Palvie:

Prop comedy is bad. Prop comedy songs that use the word “perfidy”: Much, much, much worse.

“Bearish,” by Marcy Shaffer:

A parody of the Association‘s “Cherish” that rhymes “bearish” with “laissez faire-ish.” Please, someone, take the rhyming dictionary away from this person. And the copy of GarageBand.

I guess the upside is that none of these people will make money off their horrible lyrics? Well, actually, one of the songs isn’t all that bad. But it has the benefit of having history, and someone who actually knows what words don’t sound good when crammed into lyrical meter, on its side—it’s old-school folkie Tom Paxton‘s “I’m Changing My Name To Fannie Mae” is an updated version of his response to the government’s late-’70s bailout of Chrysler:

And Arlo Guthrie—who’s covered Paxton’s Chrysler song in the past—has his own version, with slightly different lyrics (and a bigger band):

No Dough In The Do-Re-Mi [WSJ]

idolator

  1. El Zilcho!

    No love for the terrible “Tarp Song?” Although, maybe it’s actually well-written compared to some of these others.

  2. Anonymous

    “The prisons are filled with brothers caught on a fifty-dollar jack/But when Whitey takin trillions, the cops they turn their back”
    Does Michael Adams think it’s okay for him to say the “W” word just because he’s white?

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