The Felicia Barton-Adjusted “Idol” Top 36: Bigmouths Strike Again

noah | February 12, 2009 11:30 am

Well, after the early-morning scandal involving Joanna Pacitti sliding out of the competition because of “impropriety,” recapping last night’s episode of American Idol seems a little bit anticlimactic. So all I will say about the “judges’ mansion” episode is that I can’t believe Tatiana and Von Smith are still around. Also, the whole blue-collar sing-off between Matt Breitzke and Michael Sarwer at the end of the show was kind of gross, and it underscored the producers’ myopia that led them to thinking yet another major-label refugee could credibly make it through the Idol process—namely, that it’s so shocking that people with actual jobs, instead of failed attempts to make it in the business, actually have good voices, that we have to pair them up in a convoluted attempt to get to the heart of America. A list of the top 36, with a few initial impressions of the more memorable ones, after the jump.

Adam Lambert: Well, the Scissor Sisters showed up on Big Love this week, which may improve his chances. Alex Wagner-Trugman: McLovin’-esque kid who I think won his sing-off because Simon didn’t like his competitor’s song choice, not because of his toothy “Don’t Let The Sun Go Down On Me.” Alexis Grace: Spunky young blonde. Side note: Why do so many of the blondes this season have fuschia extensions? Have Idol‘s sponsors gotten that low-rent? Allison Iraheta: “Only 16.” And always nervous. Here we go again. Anne Marie Boskovich: The Kara DioGuardi fangirl who got the makeover during audition day. Kind of a thin voice. Anoop Desai: Kind of awesome from what I’ve seen so far, although I am sort of lukewarm on him naming himself “Anoop Dogg.” Arianna Afsar: Was very unimpressed with her atonal, falsetto-filled version of “Put Your Records On.” But she’s 16, too. Sigh. Brent Keith Casey Carlson Danny Gokey: His voice is pretty decent, but the heartstring-plucking story and sorta Seth Rogen-ish looks mean he’s a lock for the top two. Felicia Barton: Having the best day ever. Jackie Tohn: The season’s token rock chick—more put-together than Amanda Overmeyer, more sane than Alexis Cohen. Jasmine Murray: Sort of bland. Jeanine Vailes Jesse Langseth: Jonny Lang’s sister. Jorge Nunez-Mendez: Anyone who can capably pull off Ne-Yo is OK with me. Ju’Not Joyner: Oversinging the wispiest songs—in this case, “Hey There Delilah”—still works with the judges. Kai Kalama: A strong audition and a package-ready backstory (his mom is suffering from cancer). Kendall Beard Kris Allen Kristen McNamara: Her voice wasn’t the best but what was up with the judges being super-mean about her clothes? Lil Rounds Matt Breitzke Matt Giraud Megan Corkrey: Tattooed mom with a husky voice. Very interested in what she’ll do. Michael Sarver: I’ve been excited about him since he auditioned with Boyz II Men. Mishavonna Henson: Third time’s a charm (she made it to Hollywood in seasons six and seven, but didn’t get through). Nathaniel Marshall: So much drama, so much facial hardware. A slightly askew Josiah Leming type who’s notable mostly for crying and singing Ray Boltz. Nick Mitchell, a.k.a. “Norman Gentle”: Not to be confused with the Nick Mitchell from the MTV/WWE reality show Tough Enough, although his split personality might make you think otherwise. Ricky Braddy Scott MacIntyre: Can he break through from being referred to as “the blind guy” with some strong auditions? Stephen Fowler Stevie Wright Tatiana Del Toro: Vote For The Worst’s favorite. Her defensive hackles will probably go way, way, way up on the live episodes, if her post-show blogging is any indication:

so in response to all the judgment as in…I am a drama queen, crazy, fake. Honestly, I don’t think anyone can imagine the kind of hurt people were trying to inflict on me during the taping of hollywood week and how long it went on and how intesne and relentless it was. Seriously that was ten minutes of DAYS HOURS OF PEOPLE HUMILIATING ME AND STABBING ME. Alot of people were ganging up on me…calling me hurtful sick names, speaking ill of me, and overall attempting to ruin my career that I have been working on for 24 years since I have been born. Reminder, most of these people have never performed, nor cared about performing or entertainment before vs this is my life and again I don’t think anyone can Imagine the kind of hurt I have faced in this industry as a woman.I have been trying to break into this industry as an independent artist for over a decade vs people who thought… “Maybe Ill try out for American Idol and sing and whatever who knows!!” Its not…”who knows??” for me… It’s what I live for. I was not raised spoiled, In fact my parents were very hard on me and taught me to fetch for myself.

That’s only like a third of her (since-redacted) response to her portrayal on Hollywood Week.

Taylor Vaifanua: Another member of the teenaged brigade, she got through thanks in part to a sorta-pageanty version of “If I Ain’t Got You.” Von Smith: Shouldn’t being famous on the Internet also be improper enough to get one kicked out of Idol? Or do I live in a dream world?

Next week, 12 contestants—Casey Carlson, Stephen Fowler, Jackie Tohn, Ricky Braddy, Anne Marie Boskovich, Brent Keith, Alexis Grace, Michael Sarver, Stevie Wright, Danny Gokey, Tatiana Del Toro, and Anoop Desai—face off in the first semifinalist-elimination round. Basically the top three from each semifinal round will go through to the round of 12, and then three other “wild card” picks who didn’t make it will get ushered through. Get those texting fingers ready!

Top 36 [American Idol] Hollywood Week – Part 4 [MJ] The Official Top 36 Of American Idol 8 [Joe’s Place]

Tags: ,