The Crassest Pro-Indie Argument You Will See All Day

Feb 12th, 2009 // 15 Comments

A tipster turned us on to this amazing bit of press releasespeak today, which was couched as a pitch for a company that’ll remain nameless for obvious reasons: “When the news that Chris Brown had been arrested for alleged assault, I couldn’t help but think that independent music artists are the way of the future. An independent artist has a lot more at risk and (I believe) appreciates their fame a lot more than someone signed by a music production company. Could that be the problem with today’s artists who make stupid mistakes to mess up their career?” That’s a justification for staying indie if I’ve ever read it!



Let me recap: Chris Brown (allegedly) abused Rihanna because he is on a major label, and thus doesn’t appreciate his fame. Had he been an independent artist, he would have raised his hand to her and then lowered it, having thought twice about the ramifications of such an action and the risks he was taking with his career. Never mind the physical abuse he was going to cause another human being. What matters is that he appreciate his fame. Those music production companies are bad! Stay away! Independent music really is the way of the future. Everyone appreciates everything they have and nobody makes stupid mistakes like beating up their girlfriends because they think about the risks they are taking.

Huh. Maybe it’s that I’ve been mixing Dayquil and Sudafed today, but this all makes total sense to me. Yep. No problems with it at all.

idolator

  1. Cam/ron

    That’s right, all indie artists are of virtue pure and Christian.

  2. silkyjumbo

    so that explains old dude from the shins.

  3. shuja x

    careful with the sudafed, that shit makes you impotent

  4. Dickdogfood

    @shuja x: careful with the sudafed, that shit makes you indie

    Corrected.

  5. spankyjoe

    I think this guy might be right, but for all the wrong reasons. Simply put, if you don’t have a coterie of yes-men, flacks, and assistants surrounding you all the time and shielding your from reality, there’s a chance you might be a bit more cognizant of your surroundings. Less of the “I’m Rick James, Bitch” Syndrome, if you will.

    But,it’s worth noting that Chris Brown is no Rick James.

  6. Thierry

    @silkyjumbo: Well, he never would’ve done it while on Sub Pop. Ahem.

  7. Anonymous

    Domestic violence is found solely in the upper class. The same can be said of rash decisions.
    They say people always appreciate the things they do not have. So I see how someone who is not rich and famous would be more gaurded in actions that might jepordize their riches and fame.

  8. Poubelle

    @K-Rex: Solely in the upper class? WTF? Are these stats from bizarro universe?

  9. Nicolars

    @silkyjumbo: Ha, I was thinking the same thing.

  10. Anonymous

    He was a stupid fuck before the $.

  11. Anonymous

    Should I mention that I had no idea who Chris Brown was before this icident?

  12. Invisible Circus

    fail.

    if only that argument held up for repeat offenders like Michael Jackson or R.Kelly.

    Truth of the matter is if Chris did or did not beat Rhianna he did it out of pure passion. It’s a crime of passion and lets be honest, all the money in the world doesn’t amount to the thought that someone you’re dating is tricking on you…it just means if you attack them you can get the best legal defense.

    @k-rex abuse knows no financial situation, but if you mean those with money are more neglegent then yes, you’re right to a degree but to be honest, physical, emotional, abuse is still abuse.

  13. LostTurntable

    Those who can’t do teach and those who have no soul write PR.

  14. Lucas Jensen

    @LostTurntable: Hey now. Not all of us are soulless.

  15. Swankster

    There’s an analogy to be made with this theory and modern American politics, but I’m not up for it right now. Quite boring innit?

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