Josh Freese Is Going To Redefine “Value-Added”

It’s hard not to like the way that journeyman drummer Josh Freese is trying to make a few extra bucks from the release of his new album, Since 1972. Where else can you purchase an album, a drum lesson, a few previously worn outfits and a trip to a strip club with a semi-famous drummer for only $2,500?



Freese left Nine Inch Nails late last year in order to spend more time with his children, which is an admirable goal. Since he likely made more money as a for-hire touring drummer than he did recording drum tracks for an Abandoned Pools disc, he’s got to make up that lost income somehow. Why not offer twenty different album packages, priced between $7 and $75,000?

$7
-Digital Download of “Since 1972″ (including 3 videos)

$15
-CD/DVD Double Disc Set
-Digital Download

$50
-CD/DVD Double Disc Set
-T-shirt
-”Thank You” phone call from Josh for buying Since 1972. You can tell him what you like about the record that you purchased, or what you thought sucked. Ask whatever you want, like “Is Maynard really THAT weird?” or “Which on of Sting’s mansions has the comfiest beds?” or “Are Devo really Suburban Robots that monitor reality or just a bunch of Dads from Ohio?” or “Why don’t the Vandals play more stuff off the first record?” It’s your 5 minutes to yack it up. Talk about whatever you want.

$250 (limited edition of 25)
-Signed CD/DVD and digital download.
-T-shirt
-Signed Drum Head and Drumsticks.
-Go on a lunch date with Josh to PF Changs or The Cheesecake Factory (whatever you’re into.)

$500 (limited edition of 15)
-Signed CD/DVD and digital download
-T-shirt
-Signed Cymbal and sticks
-Meet Josh in Venice, CA and go floating together in a Sensory deprivation tank (filmed and posted on youtube)
-Dinner at Sizzler (get your $8.99 Steak and “all you can eat” Shrimp on)

$1,000 (limited edition of 10)
-Signed CD/DVD and digital download.
-T-shirt
-Signed Cymbal, Drum head and Drumsticks.
-Josh washes your car OR does your laundry….or you can wash his car.
-Have dinner with Josh aboard the “Queen Mary” in Long Beach, CA
-Get drunk and cut each other’s hair in the parking lot of the Long Beach courthouse (filmed and posted on youtube of course)

$2,500 (limited edition of 5)
-Signed CD/DVD and digital download.
-Get a private drum lesson with Josh or for all you non-drummers have him give you a back and foot massage (couples welcome)
-Pick any 1 member of the Vandals or DEVO (subject to availability) to accompany you and Josh to either the Hollywood Wax Museum or the lunch buffet at the “Spearmint Rhino”
-Signed DW snare drum.
-Take 3 items of your choice out of his closet (first come, first serve)
-Change diapers and make bottles with him for an afternoon (after hitting the strip club)

$5,000 (limited edition of 3)
-Signed CD/DVD and digital download.
-T-shirt
-Josh writes about a song about you and make available on iTunes.
-Co-direct a video with him for the song about you and throw it up on the youtubes.
-Josh gives you and a friend a private tour of Disneyland
-Get drunk together. If you don’t drink we can go to my Dads place and hang out under the “Tuba tree”
-Stone from Pearl Jam will send you a letter telling you about his favorite song on “Since 1972″

$10,000 (limited edition of 1)
-Signed CD/ DVD and digital download
-T-shirt
-Signed DW snare drum from A Perfect Circle‘s 2003 tour.
-Josh gives you a private drum lesson OR his and hers foot/back massage (couples welcome, discreet parking)
-Twiggy from Manson’s band and Josh take you and a guest to Roscoe’s Chicken n’ Waffle in Long Beach for dinner.
-Josh takes you and guest to “Club 33″ (the super-duper exclusive and private restaurant at Disneyland located above the Pirates Of The Caribbean) and then hit a couple rides afterwards (preferably the Tiki Room, Haunted Mansion and The Tower Of Terror)
-At the end of the day at Disneyland drive away in Josh’s Volvo station wagon. It’s all yours….take it. Just drop him off on your way home though please.

$20,000 (limited edition of 1)
-Signed CD/DVD and digital download.
-T-shirt
-A signed drum from the 2008 Nine Inch Nails tour.
-Maynard James Keenan, Mark from Devo and Josh take you miniature golfing and then drop you off on the side of the freeway (all filmed and posted on youtube)
-Josh gives you a tour of Long Beach. See his first apartment, the coffee shop on 2nd St where his buddy paid Dave Grohl $40 to rip up tile just weeks before joining “Nirvana.” See the old Vandals rehearsal spot, the liquor store he got busted using a Fake I.D. at when he was 17 (it was Dave from the Vandals old ID). Go check out Snoop Dogg’s high- school. For an extra 50 bucks see where Tom and Adrian from No Doubt live.=2 0For another $25 he’ll show ya where Eric from NOFX and Brooks from Bad Religion get their hair cut.
-Spend the night aboard the Queen Mary and take the “Ghosts And Legends” tour. (separate rooms…no spooning.)
-Josh writes 2 songs about you and it’s made available on iTunes and appears on his next record (you can sing back up on em, clap, play the drums, triangle, whatever….)
-Drum lesson OR foot and back massage (once again…couples welcome and discreet parking available)
-Pick any 3 items out of Josh’s closet.

$75,000 (limited edition of 1)
-Signed CD/DVD and digital download
-T-shirt
-Go on tour with Josh for a few days.
-Have Josh write, record and release a 5 song EP about you and your life story.
-Take home any of his drumsets (only one but you can choose which one.)
-Take shrooms and cruise Hollywood in Danny from TOOL’s Lamborgini OR play quarters and then hop on the Ouija board for a while.
-Josh will join your band for a month…play shows, record, party with groupies, etc….
-If you don’t have a band he’ll be your personal assistant for a month (4 day work weeks, 10 am to 4 pm)
-Take a limo down to Tijuana and he’ll show you how it’s done (what that means exactly we can’t legally get into here)
-If you don’t live in Southern California (but are a US resident) he’ll come to you and be your personal assistant/cabana boy for 2 weeks.
-Take a flying trapeze lesson with Josh and Robin from NIN, go back to Robin’s place afterwards and his wife will make you raw lasagna.

If the Volvo’s model year is right, I think I found what I’m going to get my wife for her birthday. Although I find the $250 T-shirt / signed snare drum / lunch with Freese package to be quite a bargain, too. If you’re just curious as to what Freese sounds like on his own (his first album, The Notorious One Man Orgy, was a solid piece of powerpop), a digital copy of the album complete with three music videos is only $7. But you don’t get lunch with that, so plan accordingly.

Josh Freese [Official site]

idolator
  • musicquizking

    I’m surprised Lars Ulrich hasn’t already thought of doing something like this.

  • Anonymous

    Good stuff! I hope he sells all the packages.

  • tigerpop

    20K sounds like a bargain for that mini-golf date with Maynard and Mothersbaugh. Where’s my checkbook?

  • Anonymous

    I’m dumbstruck. Each one is better than the last. I wish I could afford ALL of the the 1000+ packages!

  • indiie

    Oh dear God, he is my most favorite musician ever. I’ve been a Vandals fan for a bazillion years.

    /off to rob a bank