Jan 23rd, 2009 // 31 Comments

From Phoenix New Times music editor Martin Cizmar’s announcement of the Pazz and Jop poll: “4. The poll was founded by former Voice music editor Robert Christgau, who is the worst music critic ever, in my humble opinion. I almost didn’t want to vote just to avoid furthering, in any way, his legacy of shitty writing.” [Phoenix New Times]

  1. Maura Johnston

    Classy until the end, these guys.

  2. Mike Conklin

    Amazing. This whole thing is a mess…. look at number 3:

    “3. How the fuck did R.E.M. sneak on this list, even at #25? I seriously didn’t know they released an album last year.”

    I was certainly no fan of the record, but, er, I did know that it was released.

    And click over to his personal Best of 2008 list — at the bottom of the page, where he proudly lists all the records he didn’t even bother to listen to. Yikes.

  3. Nicolars

    What is it about right wing whack jobs and Arizona? What a cretinous douchebag.

  4. Chuck Eddy

    I just hope the dipshit’s big daddy Michael Lacey smacked him silly for hedging his bet with that wussy “in my humble opinion” in re Xgau.

  5. Chuck Eddy

    >his personal Best of 2008 list<

    …also looks pretty darn dime-a-dozen indie-rock-crit for somebody who seems to enjoy whining about Pitchfork so much.

  6. brownham

    may not be classy, but he is right about Christgau

  7. Anonymous

    “paper plans”

  8. Andy_K

    “2. I’m amazed by how right, and how wrong, the poll has gotten things over the years. For example, Yankee Hotel Foxtrot was definitely the album of 2002, though most people did not have it at the top of their lists while Arrested Development winning in 1992, the year The Chronic came out is hilariously telling of how ignorant rock writers were about rap at the time.”

    December 15, 1992: the day The Chronic came out.

    #6: Where The Chronic placed in the 1993 poll.

    Yankee Hotel Foxtrot: LOL.

  9. the rich girls are weeping

    Huh, ‘legacy of shitty writing’? Someone’s delusional about the quality of their own writing — I take it the slimmed-down staff at Phoenix New Times doesn’t include a copy editor? Count the grammatical errors!

  10. Supertrash

    Pazz & Jop post: “hilariously telling of how ignorant rock writers were about rap at the time”

    Favorite albums post: “Can an album comprised solely of samples really be an artistic achievement?”

  11. fuzzyitch

    nothing like bringing out that old arrested development thing. again. every year, someone’s gotta bring that up. i voted in the ’92 poll and, yes, arrested development was on my list. unless you were actually doing this 16 years ago, shut the fuck up. at the time, it was a monster album. i’m sure 16 years from now that vampire weekend cd is going to look mighty stupid too.

  12. Dickdogfood

    He wants to convince us he’s a self-styled douchebag/maverick who slaughters sacred cows and topples the received wisdom of critics and generally just keeps it real, man–yet he puts a whimpgasm like Fleet Foxes on his top ten. (And I LIKE FF but c’mon.)

  13. Chuck Eddy

    >he is right about Christgau <

    Good point! Christgau is clearly a much worse music critic than Martin Cizmar.

  14. unperson

    >Christgau is clearly a much worse music critic than Martin Cizmar.

    It is possible for them both to be shitty writers and worthless critics.

  15. Weezy F Baby

    haha. dude complains about rock critics being out of touch with the current rap climate, then he puts Lupe Fiasco in his top 10.

  16. Weezy F Baby

    …holy shit and the Black Kids record??

  17. Anonymous

    Even if Xgau’s writing doesn’t do it for you, you can still admire his knowledge and dedication. And what does calling him “the worst music critic ever” really even mean, anyway?

    If he insulted you – and my guess is that he has better things to do – he’d at least find something insightful, clever or rock-referential to say.

    For example: His week beats your year.

  18. iamlovebot

    @Weezy F Baby: Black Kids + Metallica + not listening to Foals = INSTANT FAIL. (in the parlance of our, ahem, “post-post-modern” times.)

  19. The Illiterate

    @Weezy F Baby: And the weird thing is, Christgau likes the Black Kids album, too.

  20. The Illiterate

    It is possible for them both to be shitty writers and worthless critics.

    ALL WRITERS ARE SHITTY! ALL CRITICS ARE WORTHLESS! IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH! THE POPE IS A RABBI! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

  21. Lax Danja House

    It’s unfortunate this this sentence

    I almost didn’t want to vote just to avoid furthering, in any way, his legacy of shitty writing.

    follows so closely this example of shitty writing

    The poll was founded by former Voice music editor Robert Christgau, who is the worst music critic ever, in my humble opinion.

  22. Lax Danja House

    @Lax Danja House: it was sort of inevitable that I would make a glaring typo

  23. Dickdogfood

    @The Illiterate: “Yuh see? Yuh see? Your stupid minds! Stupid! Stupid!”

  24. Anonymous

    @Dickdogfood: In other words, he’s just doin’ it New Times style.

  25. WHAD1

    Geez, if you’re gonna rip a critic for “shitty writing” it would at least help to write well while you’re doing so.

  26. mhulot

    So, the man who wrote this sentence:

    “Mick Jagger should fold up his penis and go home”

    is a shitty writer, but the man who wrote this sentence:

    “But, hey, in this crazy post-post-modern world, who’s to say what counts as art, and what threshold of originality must be met before something counts as your own creation?”

    is qualified to pass dismissive judgment on him.

    I fucking hate New Times/Village Voice/whatever the conglomerate is officially named.

  27. mhulot

    Also, if this dude is so down on Xgau, go check out his 1992 p&j essay, in which he calls Arrested Development’s album a “failure.” “The Chronic” was in the top 10 (#6) of the 1993 poll, behind at least 4 albums that are much better than it. It was the highest scoring rap album of the year, which is unfortunate, because Buhloone Mindstate runs circles around Dre.

  28. Lucas Jensen

    @Dickdogfood: Plan 9 in the house! Haha.

  29. Oldboy

    Christgau is a great critic and a great critical writer. Deal with it, children.

  30. Anonymous

    I miss voting in Pazz & Jop. Can I get back in next year?
    Also, Christgau rules.

  31. G3K

    PHOENIX NEW TIMES: WAR ON MAKING SENSE

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